


The stars above (us)

by LittleDream, RADP



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Deity Allura, Deity Lotor, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Grief/Mourning, Lotura - Freeform, M/M, Minor Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post S8, Post-Canon Fix-It, Previous Allurance, Reconnecting Lotura, Unrequited Love, finding love again, implied veracxa, klance, life after death, space adventures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-10-10 11:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17424719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDream/pseuds/LittleDream, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RADP/pseuds/RADP
Summary: “Allura, do you really have to tamper with nature and reality just to have your ex-lover and the guy who inexplicably hates me ... fall in love?”Allura wakes up in space heaven and realizes she’s the new Goddess of Fate. While accustoming to her role and exploring what the afterlife has to offer, she realizes something new about her old friends: Lance and Keith are fated to end up together at some point. Now armed with brand-new celestial powers, Allura decides to accelerate the process by sending them some "tiny" signs.However, while her mortal friends go on an adventure and try to work out their feelings, she has to deal with another deity: a certain prince she knew when she was alive and who might hold the key to her own happily ever after.





	1. Start at the end

**Author's Note:**

> LittleDream: When I came out with the general idea for this Klance & Lotura fic (Allura helping Lance and Keith from the afterlife), it was supposed to stay like that: an idea.  
> But when I said I didn't plan on writing it, RAD offered some help and somehow we ended up co-writing this story. It's the biggest written project I've ever worked on and I'm both excited and nervous about how it is going to be received. I hope you all enjoy it and that it helps you heal after the mess that was S8. 
> 
> RADP: I was mostly salty about season 8 and LittleDream had the perfect idea to fix that mess post-canon. We talked about and started working on every little thing we wanted to make better after this "dead end" (love stories, redemption arcs and some lost plot points)...  
> So here we are now. Enjoy what salt and love for the characters can accomplish!
> 
> As ending notes, we would like to thank our group chat, 'The Balmerans', for their faithful support and add a special mention and the biggest spacial hug to Astro, who was kind enough to beta this chapter. Neither of us is a native English speaker, so you can imagine how much she helped us polish our writing.  
> Also, check out the final notes of each chapter for some funny blooper scenes!

The sunset had tinged the sky over Altea and the ring system around it into a wide range of bright colours as Keith made his way through the garden of the new castle. Coran really had put in a lot of effort to recreate the planet as he and Allura once knew it. There were already lots of shiny, white buildings, gigantic, delicate structures and bridges and of course vast fields of juniberry flowers – it must be a dream come true for him. A miracle really… but at what cost? Keith sighed.

There was nothing he could change about that, no matter how bitter it seemed. Yesterday they celebrated Allura for the first time, and in the year she had been gone they all tried to continue her peace efforts, everyone in their own way. A lot happened – for all of them – and since he tried to reform the Galra empire and the Blade of Marmora into something new with his mother and Kolivan, he also didn’t get to see his friends as often as he would have liked. Especially the one who had been hurt the most by their last fight as Paladins of Voltron. Now, with the lions suddenly leaving in the middle of the night, their time as said Paladins was officially over, which kind of cemented their separate ways. But as much as he wished he could stay with the others on Altea or Earth for a while, he really couldn’t.

So he paced through the luscious gardens, looking for his mom. The others had already left and went back to Earth in the morning, except for the Atlas crew. And now their ship from Daibazaal had finally arrived, ready to pick them up and take them back to where they were needed most at the moment – especially after his mom hasn’t been there in weeks, because of her recent missions to several Blade outposts.

“Mom,” he said, when he finally spotted her, standing next to two other people on one of the many terraces. Krolia, Shiro and Coran turned around to greet him – and Shiro had this very particular look on his face. The one he always had, when he was about to say something that Keith would potentially not appreciate. Keith’s brows furrowed in suspicion.

“What’s going on here?” he asked them right away.

“I just updated Shiro and Coran on the information we have regarding the colony and the recovered Alteans from the preservation facility,” Krolia explained in a factual manner, as usual. He loved her ‘no bullshit’ attitude.

Coran sighed and looked very uncomfortable. “Yes, Krolia told us about the efforts the Blades made to unravel the secrets of the colony. It seems that we might have misjudged the situation – but since the Alteans we recovered from the facility are still unconscious and not responding very well to the treatment, we don’t know the truth yet.” Shiro and Krolia nodded in silence.

Since Allura had sacrificed herself to save the universe and Honerva also had vanished in the process, a few new pieces of information about Lotor’s Altean colony had surfaced. In the very moment the witch died, Romelle seemed to remember things differently than before. When they saw her again after the fight, she claimed that Haggar had visited their colony and somehow influenced her memories – she never really saw her brother dying or Lotor suspiciously cleaning up the scene. She still didn’t know the whole truth, but she feared that her flawed story was actually a product of corrupted magic. When Krolia and other Blade agents revisited the colony again, they searched for clues and retrieved the preserved Alteans that were hidden on the nearby moon and apparently left behind by Honerva.

“Well, when they wake up, we will learn more about it,” Keith answered. ”But our ship to Daibazaal just arrived, so we gotta go, mom.”

The whole story about Lotor’s evil second colony being a hoax didn’t sit too well with him – it made him feel guilty. After Romelle had accused the Galra prince, they all had felt proven right and judged him without even listening to his explanation anymore. So Keith wanted to know the truth, obviously, but … the truth could easily make Voltron the villain of this story. They had left Lotor in the rift to die, after all.

“Actually, Keith, we wanted to ask _you_ to continue the mission to find out the truth about the colony,” Shiro then said and once again had this expectant look on his face.

“Me?” Keith felt a shiver going down his spine.

“Yes, we just discussed our options and Krolia’s newest clues. Since there are still many Alteans missing, including Romelle’s brother Bandor, the second colony has to be somewhere out there,” Coran added thoughtfully, his face full of concern.

“Even if it’s still out there, how should we find it?”

“In the newest investigations of the equipment we retrieved from the preservation facility, fine traces of a very rare material were found, which could possibly lead the way into the right direction.”  Krolia explained. “Only a few places in the known universe know how to deal with this special metal, so we can probably narrow our search down to a few quadrants after further testing and evaluating.”

“Sounds great. But if the Blade is already on it, why should _I_ search for the Alteans?”” he  responded, still confused about how his search for the needle in the haystack would make any sense in the bigger picture. “Mom, they still need us on Daibazaal.”

Things were finally getting better for the Galra and reforming the empire wasn’t exactly an easy task. Leaving Daibazaal to go on a mission that could easily be performed by other agents or even drones seemed like a huge waste of time. Without some crazy omens or fate intervening, this would be an impossible quest for one person.

“Well, I thought you maybe shouldn’t go alone anyway,” Shiro said with a sheepish smile. Keith didn’t like where he seemed to be going with that statement.

“What do you mean?”

“Look, Keith… I know it has been a tough year for all of us,” Shiro  nearly whispered, with empathy and a certain apprehension in his voice.

 _Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say_.

“After seeing all of you together again yesterday, I thought we could assemble the Paladins of Voltron one more time. Not to fight, but to rescue those who were lost during the war . Those Alteans have been drifting somewhere in space for years now, and since we were involved in the complicated case of Lotor’s colony, it’s our responsibility to undo our mistakes. Our duty, even.”

Shiro lately always sounded like he was giving a huge speech – possibly, because he was giving speeches a lot as Captain of the Atlas. It also was annoyingly convincing and very heroic. Coran nodded in agreement (apparently close to tearing up after Shiro’s moving words), while Krolia listened silently. Keith wasn't sold.

“Allura would have wanted us to go and bring them back home,” Coran added, wistfully. “Back to Altea.”

“And I really think it would help us cope with the situation. You know, coming together as friends, going on an adventure. Like we did in the old days,” he added with a cautious smile.

Keith sighed.

“Do you really think that _everyone_ would go? Hunk is your diplomat chef on the Atlas, Pidge is busy running the Garrison lab and … and Lance…,” he trailed off.

Lance had gone back to Earth, like he always said he would. But instead of flying, he now lived on his family’s farm. He didn’t want to visit the others (or him), he didn’t want to join the Garrison again, despite Shiro trying to convince him with heroic speeches, he didn’t want to do anything else than secluding himself and staying with his family on the countryside.

He called it ‘a quiet life’.

Everyone else called it isolation and grief.

Yesterday at the celebration dinner he gave them a lot of forced smiles and only very few genuine ones. Lance wasn’t really celebrating. He was still in pain, mourning Allura. Keith didn’t exactly think he’d want to go on an adventure.

“Keith, if anyone can talk to Lance about this, it’s you,” Shiro finally said.

“Why me? You all saw him yesterday. He doesn’t exactly seem very adventurous at the moment.”

“He was your right-hand man, and he's your  friend, Keith,” Coran chimed in with an encouraging smile on his face. “From the tick you stepped onto our ship, it was clear you two were going to be a tight as two yelmors attached at the ears. Even yesterday the two of you were attached at the hip. You two have always been a pair.”

Shiro nodded and Krolia just raised a brow.

“Look, there’s still time until we have more information about where to start the search. I will talk to Hunk and Pidge, and after you and Krolia have dealt with the urgent business on Daibazaal, you should go and visit Lance.” Shiro explained. “Even if he refuses to go on this mission with us  – I think it’s good for him to interact more with his friends.”.

Keith felt oddly defeated by his statement but nodded in response. Shiro smiled knowingly.

After they had said their goodbyes, he and Krolia boarded the ship back to Daibazaal – the long lost home planet of the Galra.

As he looked out of the window right before the take-off, he saw that the magnificent sunset colours on Altea’s sky already had almost vanished.

In the fading pink and purple of the dusk, the first stars were visible above.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Allura woke up to an incessant buzzing in her head.

It wasn’t painful, not really - she was dead, after all, and she doubted it was possible for a non corporal body to feel such inconveniences - but it was, nevertheless, bothersome.

Thousands upon thousands of voices, faces and feelings tangled up in an impossible mess, indistinguishable from one another and with her eyes still strongly closed, she let out a groan. She could do it, she could handle this. She _would_ manage it.

She took a deep breath, and then another, trying to focus in something, anything, that was specific enough to calm the turby waters she now had to deal with.

Allura went through some images, scanning them just as she used to scan the castle of lion’s channels looking for distress signals.

_Her past existence, Altea, Voltron, the Paladins._

She inhaled again, picturing some of her favorite moments with her friends and companions; her found family. It did help, as the voices were receding to a concealed and secured box in the back of her mind. But it came with a price, she realized, as she felt a tight knot settling on the pit of her stomach reflecting a feeling of sadness about what she lost, of what she left behind. She let the air out and finally opened her eyes.

Allura wasn't the kind of person that dwelled around in self-pity when she knew she had responsibilities to take care of and she wasn't going to start now in the afterlife.

First things first, she raised from her bed and stood on the carpeted floor, facing a big, automatic door. With a stretch and a yawn she looked around, getting an overall idea of the whole room.

A nightstand was placed on each side of her bed, each with a night lamp. There were bookshelves on each side of the door - she made a mental note to check out the titles out later - and on the left side of the bedroom she had a desk with another lamp on top and a matching chair.

Her left was occupied by a smaller door and she proceeded to walk towards it, her bare feet slightly sinking into the fluffy carpet. As soon as she touched it, the door opened on its own with a barely noticeable _shoosh_. A bathroom, she realized, with a huge bathtub as the attention grabber of the space. There was no toilet, as again, she wouldn’t need one anymore, but there was a vanity with a mirror and an open closet full of bottles of different sizes and colours.

Curiosity piqued, she got closer to read the carefully written labels. All of them were different scents for a nice, warm bath as well as other necessary items for beauty self-care like masks and creams.

Allura smiled to herself. _Lance would have loved this place,_ she thought, _he’d…_ The smile disappeared like a breeze in the summer, quickly dissipated by melancholy.

She closed the closet doors and went back to her room. It was a nice room, but she knew she had a castle to go through. Clothes, she did know, were nothing to worry about here. A simple thought would change the sleep wear she woke up in to whatever her heart desired.

After she changed her clothes to a more suitable outfit -a simple pale yellow altean dress- she braced herself for the quintants to come. The many, many quintants to come.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was insane, just how big the palace actually was.

Initially, she had rationalized that because of the hallways, doors and guest rooms, which all shared a vague resemblance to those she used to know in the castle of lions, the size of the overall place would be similar as well. Nevertheless, after having walked for what felt like longer than a couple of vargas - she wasn't sure, time here was different -, she realized that that wasn't the case. Theoretically speaking, she understood she had the ability to close her eyes and go to whichever place she wanted; her newly acquired deity powers allowed her.

For some reason, she didn’t feel ready to just… appear in places at will. This wasn’t a simple chore as changing clothes was. This was making her whole body disappear and appear in a different place. Or making the place come to her? It was all too confusing.

And sure, back when she was a living being she freely used wormholes to move ships from one point of the deep universe to another one. But those were simply doors, passages manipulated by herself and her altean magic with the help of some trusted altean technology, not this weird celestial body dynamics that she was only beginning to understand, the implications of it all still unclear and fuzzy, like something out of a dream you just woke up from. Her own death still too recent to brush aside and move on.

Truth be told, Allura hadn’t expected much of _dying._ She had felt fear, of course, when facing it. A deep bone-chilling fear that might have stopped any other person from doing what she did. Yet, her sacrifice had been a natural decision. She hadn’t even considered it a choice, back then. It was integral for her to leave, it was the correct path to give herself up in exchange for the lives of millions. Her father had taught her people were the priority and her own life came second. Always. No exceptions.

That knowledge, that fact, was ingrained in her, becoming a vital piece of the puzzle that made her who she was. And so when the time came, she said goodbye to those she was able to, with tear stained cheeks and a handful of regrets, before following the silhouettes of those who had already passed, the shadows of what might have been.

Yes, she had accepted her sacrifice, even though she had been afraid. But what she clearly didn’t expect with the prospect of giving up herself and dying, was becoming an actual goddess. In a weird, timeless spot between her death and her waking up in an otherworldly castle, she had met the White Lion again.

They were not only the guardian of quintessence and alchemy, but also the celestial being in charge of watching over the eternal realm. Honerva may have destroyed their corporeal form, but their spirit was immortal and everlasting.

In blinding light they met again – and what she said during her trial back then in Oriande had become the truth: She would rather give her own life than take others. When the White Lion looked at her, their eyes were bright and even though they didn’t move their mouth one bit, their words rang clearly and vibrant in Allura’s mind: _You have proven your noble intentions, Princess. You chose to save the universe and all those within it, and for this sacrifice, you are now the Goddess of Fate of your former reality. You will stay with the souls of the deceased, here in Pollux, and watch over the mortals and their doings, you will guide their destinies as you see fit. But beware of changing and intervening too much – as it can lead to chaos, like the incidents we’ve seen before._

Allura had so many questions, but in this strange, time-transcending spot she was in, they all seemed vague, irrelevant and incredibly far away. The brightness of the White Lion seemed to engulf her completely, burning away every last piece of mortality in a beam of light. Her mind was full and empty at the same time, thoughts floating around aimlessly and without any urgency. Images and knowledge of different kinds just showed up in a random manner, but it seemed natural and pleasant. For a while she felt whole, and at the same time like she was barely existing anymore.

And now she was here – wandering the celestial castle of this strange place called Pollux, somewhat aware of her powers and still uncertain about everything that happened. Searching for nothing in particular, just looking around, the memories of her last moments still lingering in her mind… and her heart.  

She paused in front of a big window, marveling on the beautiful scenery of the castle’s luscious gardens. As she was doing so, her thoughts trailed back to her new form.

A goddess, the White Lion had said.

A fate deity blessed - or cursed? She was still unsure - with the power to see and pertain with every living thing’s fates. To watch and ensure everything was going according to its rightful path, that everyone’s fates came into fruition like they should and to intervene only in the most severe of cases, where something was too dangerous to ignore. A seemingly endless life of solitude and responsibility, until the next deity came in to take her place.

A sigh escaped her lips. She hadn’t asked for this; she hadn’t asked for the new title, or the new responsibilities. Why, oh why, couldn’t she just become a happy soul?

Why couldn’t she get a calm life after death? No more worries, no more pain, no more regrets. Just happiness and eternity to enjoy it.

She closed her eyes, her hands forming fists on each of her sides. Frustration. Anger. It was unfair she still had to deal with it all. The tears she and her loved one’s had shed, the bitter goodbyes they spoke so begrudgingly. How were they doing now, her found family? How long had it been for them since she passed away?

She opened her eyes. Blinked once, twice. The realization hitting her unexpectedly. She could get the answers to her questions, couldn’t she?  

Allura took a deep breath and let it go, eyes closing again, furrowing her brows in deep concentration as she went into the depths of her mind and into her new-found knowledge. The voices that just a while ago she struggled to manage were now just whispers passing by as she went deep, deep, deep, looking for a set of unmistakable quintessence. She knew it like she knew her own, because they had become one many times, while forming Voltron.

The quintessence of her precious paladins.

 

_Ah._

There they were. As bright and warm as ever.

She went through them one by one, carefully watching as they went on with their lives without her presence.

She saw the rebuilding of Altea under Coran’s guidance and a few tears escaped her eyes; it was so perfect, more than she had ever dreamed of.

She felt happy for Shiro slowly fixing his own broken heart and the early beginnings of a new crush she knew would become something more in due time.

She felt proud for Pidge and everything she was achieving as a scientist, knowing that the green paladin had a bright future ahead of her.

She saw Hunk saving up for his own restaurant, while bringing delicious peace into diplomatic meetings, and she wished she would have been given the opportunity to eat there some day.

As for Keith, she was amazed on how far he’d come, dedicating his life to help those in need, turning an army into a relief organization… And then, there was Lance.

Lance, who once upon a time was bright like a star, sharing his light with everyone. Lance, who’s jokes had made everyone laugh even in the darkest of times. He, who had been far from perfect, too childish and immature at the beginning of their journey, but then had grown into quite a man.

She watched as he cried, all alone in a field of juniberry flowers. How he didn’t fly anymore and chose a life of seclusion in an isolated farm to try and suture the bloody wound in his heart as well as he could. How the marks she left him as a token of her gratitude became a burden for him to carry.

She felt his guilt and his pain every time he looked at those marks and how the feelings melted and joined until it was impossible to distinguish one from the other. The Lance she knew was gone. And it was partially her fault. Of course, not entirely her fault. She and Lance simply weren’t meant to be forever. Nonetheless, it was too late for any of them to change anything, the only hope was in the future, in _his_ future.

She couldn't stop herself from watching as his life went through her eyelids. She saw his his destiny, his fate… his soulmate.

Lance had a soulmate! A happy ending! She felt a bubble of joy fill her chest. Everything was going to be okay! He’d just have to wait for another - she frowned, calculating the time as best as she could - three Deca-Phoebes?

Oh no. That was unacceptable! It was way too long in a mortal’s life. Especially with humans’ life cycles.

To hell with restrictions, she was getting involved.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

They had just finished eating and Lance was cleaning up the kitchen, while the others had gone off to finish other tasks – there was always work on a farm after all.

The delicious smell of his mother’s homemade Ropa Vieja still filled the room and he couldn’t help but smile. There had been times when he thought he’d never be able to take in the familiar scents and flavours again. Times, when he thought he’d probably never even see Earth again. He wiped the last crumbs off the big dining table with a sigh.

Being home was something he wished for constantly during the time he was away – it always felt like he had lost something important back then. He smiled bitterly as he washed the cleaning cloth in the sink.

He hadn’t even known what loss really feels like, when they still cruised through space as brave warriors and adventurers.Even though sometimes it felt like death was right on their heels and the weight of the universe rested on Voltron’s shoulders.

But those times were over. The lions had left them last week after the celebrations, they weren’t paladins anymore. No more color coding, no more connecting with the soothing mental link they shared with sentient robot cats, not more risking their lives and losing their allies and loved ones. No more Voltron, no more war. Now everything was peaceful, quiet and filled with the delicious smell of his mom’s homemade meals.

“¡Lance! Ve a ver quién toca, ¿quieres? ¡Tengo las manos ocupadas!” he heard his mother call from upstairs asking him to answer the door and it ripped him out of his trance-like train of thought. Once his attention was brought back to the here and now, he heard it too. A distinctive, loud knocking on the front door. “¡Ya voy, mamá!” he shouted back and made his way there, wondering why no one else had yet opened it – Rachel should be somewhere around here, she surely heard it but was probably just too lazy to get up. When the door finally swung open, his jaw fell down incredulously.

“Uhm… hi,” Keith just said awkwardly, standing in front of his porch like a model - in a leather jacket, his messy hair falling casually on his shoulders and his face showing off a nervous smile. In his hand he held a helmet and behind him Lance spotted a hover bike, like the ones they had at the Garrison., on which he probably came here.

…. But why?

“Hi,” he answered, feeling a little dumbstruck, “What are you doing here?”

Keith couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips, “That’s how you greet your guests, Lance? How charming.”

“W-well! You’re not my _guest,_ Mullet!,” he looked away in annoyance, a faint blush of embarrassment showing up, “We both know you are not the type to do casual visits, so I’m totally sure you want something.”

Keith was torn because he, indeed, wanted something. But if he admitted it too soon and said too much, that door Lance was currently keeping open would end up in his face. He’d rather not add another injury, thank you very much.

As he was debating the best way to answer, the sound of steps and a female voice came from indoors, asking about the newcomer: “¿Lance? ¿Quién es?”

“Es solo Keith, Ma!” Lance called back and gave him a look as he opened the door for him to come in. “¡Vamos a estar en la sala!” he added and motioned for him to follow him to the living room.

Keith followed him inside quietly and closed the door behind him, as he entered the somewhat familiar surroundings. He had been here before – a few times, when they all had visited Lance (and Kaltenecker) to cheer him up and check in on him. But he had never been here alone before, because of … reasons.

The farmhouse was a modern building, like most of the rebuilt structures on Earth nowadays, but it had something really different about it. Something he strongly associated with Lance and… family in general.

This was a real home, and anyone was able to feel it, right when they took the first step in. It wasn’t just a place to stay and live in – it was an actual home with some kind of character, for a family with many members and each one of them brought something unique into this shared space. Keith’s eyes wandered around, taking in the cosy atmosphere, the peculiar vibe and the interesting smell – it smelt incredibly delicious, actually. He always imagined _home_ like this. A place where you can feel the people living there. Even though he enjoyed being closer to his mother now as an adult, they weren’t really living together and for a long time now, he had missed this sort of home.

At least Lance had the opportunity to call this lovely place his home, after all he had went through. Still eyeing the room, Keith finally sat down on the couch, facing him on the opposite side of the small living room table.

“So, what’s up? Why are you here? What’s so urgent that you can’t just text me?” Lance asked again, slightly stressed out by the sudden and unannounced presence of their former team leader in his living room. They all had just met last week, so it probably wasn’t a check in to see if he was still miserable.

Keith gave him a strange look, then cleared his throat quietly.  

“Well, there have been some new developments with the second colony and the missing Alteans. Shiro suggested that the paladins of Voltron should go on one last mission together to find and retrieve them.”

Lance eyed him suspiciously, and Keith could feel his reluctance through his sudden frown.

“So… I wanted to ask you to join us on this mission, Lance,” he added lamely and waited for his answer.  

“There are no paladins of Voltron anymore, Keith,” he responded quietly after a few seconds of silence and avoided his gaze. “You know it. It's over. The end. El fin.”

“I know but-”

“But nothing,” he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. “We did what we had to. We saved the Universe, that's it for us.”

“Lance,” Keith took a deep breath. Impatience was starting to build up inside, he could feel the burn. ”You know that's not true. We will always be the Paladins of Voltron. We are a team!”

“Wow, the lone wolf really turned into a fine leader, I'm impressed how far you've come, Keith,” there was no sarcasm to his statement, his voice soft and defeated as he stood up and walked to look outside through the small living room window. “But the Lions left and we all lead different lives now. I have responsibilities here, you know? Adventures in space are over. I don't want anything to do with any of it anymore.”

His hand absentmindedly went to his right cheek, where he had the mark she left. It was cold to the touch.

Keith was quiet for a long time, so Lance thought that he'd already given up. That'd he would say goodbye and leave. He felt a weight pressing on his chest but he ignored it. It was for the best.

He hadn’t noticed that Keith had moved until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and stared at Keith's profile, the natural light making him look as if he was glowing.

Beautiful.

Lance swallowed, then abruptly turned his gaze away and cleared his throat.

“If that’s all, you should probably leave now. You have my answer,” he said plainly and something in him felt wrong while the words came out and Keith’s hand slipped away in a sudden movement.

He avoided glancing over to him and kept looking out of the window instead. Even though the gentle hills outside looked so peaceful and calm, he felt the tension rising between them. The silence became awkward and unpleasant, and Lance started to regret his harsh words.

Sending Keith away wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do, but he knew it was the better choice. Adventuring the universe was a thing of the past. There were lots of people who were better suited for this kind of job.

Keith was used to silently feeling hurt over such things, yet it still ached immensely to hear him say it out loud. _You should probably leave now._

Lance sometimes really did a great job making him feel like the last person he wanted to be around. He knew… he _hoped_ , that it was just a misunderstanding and nothing personal, but after years of back and forth and shallow rejection, he couldn’t really be sure anymore.

At least he had been right about Lance not wanting to join this mission, although he had wished for being wrong every moment of the last week. He wanted to spend more time with him, maybe even bring out his bright personality again, but after all that happened, that wasn’t an easy task. It probably wasn’t even what Lance wanted.

Keith sighed in defeat, and his eyes followed Lance’s gaze outside, where the beautiful gardens and meadows around the farm almost seemed to mock him and this broken feeling in his gut. The sun shined down warmly on them and the blue sky of Earth was covered in soft, fluffy clouds - not the kind that makes a day gray and somber. It made the little world Lance chose to live in now look like a picture-perfect idyll, almost cheesy in how pleasant it was presented through this simple window.

Keith braced himself for a bitter goodbye, when he suddenly spotted something odd outside.

There was a cloud that looked almost exactly like the silhouette of a shark.  

Suddenly a very clear and distinctive memory came to his mind and he couldn't help but let out a chuckle, the sound breaking into the gloomy mood that had settled between them.

Lance looked at him like he had gone mad, which only made him laugh more.

“Hey,” he managed to start, taking deep breaths to calm himself down, “Do you remember that one time in the castle when we were talking about Varadero and you got pretty mad because I said I'd be a much better surfer than you?”

Lance gasped. “Of course! I still can't believe you even _dared_ to imply such a thing! I bet you that I could beat you in a surf competition even if there were sharks around - which I still easily could, for the record - and you just laughed at me, you jerk!"

Keith softly pushed the other with a shoulder. “And that's why you decided to push me into the pool. I wasn’t happy at all!”

The memory of a startled Keith coming out of the water, drops falling everywhere and wet hair sticking to his forehead and neck made Lance start laughing as well.

Keith held his breath. He hadn't realized how much he missed it. Lance's bright, carefree laugh and genuine joy on his face.

Lance kept going with the story, his hands wildly gesturing as he spoke loudly, “You got so mad! Ended up pushing me in too. And we bickered. We almost drowned each other more than once.”

“Yeah. Yeah we did. And then Allura came in and scolded us for not showing up to dinner in time.” Keith smiled softly at Lance, who looked down after hearing her name. “It's good to hear you laugh, I'm happy to see _Lance_ is still somewhere in there”.

That seemed to bring him back to the present. “I don't know what you mean,” he said, but it was a fat and obvious lie, and he ended up looking away once again. “I'm always myself, you dumb mullet.”

Keith shook his head, bracing himself for what was to come. He needed to choose his next words carefully. Mentioning Allura was tricky and could ruin whatever he may had accomplished before, putting all the walls Lance had brought up right back into place.

“She would've wanted you to go.” he paused, “No, I _know_ it would've been a priority for her.”  Keith took a breathe, burying his broken heart as deep as he possibly could. Helping Lance was way more important than a silly unrequited love that refused to go away and the ping of guilty jealousy that stung when he thought of Allura; she had been a precious friend, she deserved better. “She would've wanted _you_ to find her people and make sure they're okay.”

Lance stared at him, frowning, for what felt like an eternity. Then he sighed.

”You had to bring her up, huh?” He ran his fingers through his hair in quiet exasperation while his eyes wandered back to the window. “Man, you really know how to get a guy.”

Keith held his breath and for a moment he feared that he had ruined it all.

“I'll think about it,” Lance then said quietly, his gaze still fixated on the vast juniberry flower fields outside.

But in his tone there was a subtle, hazy notion of agreement, and - almost unnoticeable - a small smile settled in his face.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A smile somewhere in the range between incredibly pleased and mischievous found its way on Allura’s lips. Those two and their silly bickering have been going on for years now.

She still could clearly remember the day she went looking for them in the castle because at dinner an important meeting with the coalition leaders was taking place, only to find them  arguing over their prowess regarding a weird Earth sport and pushing each other into the pool simultaneously.

It was back then, when she learned about ‘sharks’, the dangerous animals in Earth’s oceans, which apparently were very similar to the Altean vrophrux, but with only two (non stalk-)eyes and without the poisonous tentacles… at least that’s what she made the cloud look like.

Allura then sighed, leaned back and relaxed for a tick. To hear and see that she still was a painful topic for her friends and also the whole ‘divine intervention’ left her feeling a bit exhausted.

After making her choice to jump right into Lance’s destiny, she had quickly discovered how far she could go with her powers. She could see everyone's past and future as long as they were alive,once they passed, their destiny was fulfilled after all. And even though she couldn't project herself there (she had obviously tried) she could slightly modify the mortal world around everyone. At least shaping particular clouds seemed to work just fine, and the bare fact that she was able to send them little signs and help them into the right direction made her happy enough for the moment.

She was still smiling to herself when she heard a sudden gasp and a familiar voice calling from behind.

 

"Allura? What are you doing here?"


	2. Meet me in the middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura meets a ghost from her past. 
> 
> The Paladins get ready for a new adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments, kudos and bookmarks. They have warmed our hearts and made us even more excited about the story. People are actually waiting for an update! I hope you stay with us through the journey. Take care of yourselves and enjoy chapter two!  
> PS I can't believe this is pretty much as long as the first one! 
> 
> A big thanks to our Beta, Astro! Thanks for taking your time to read and polish our story.

 

 

 

As the huge buildings of the Galaxy Garrison appeared on the horizon of the desert, Lance felt his heart pounding quickly in his chest. A feeling of anxious excitement mixed with expectant nervousness surged through his body and made him think about the past.

More exactly about two specific moments of _his_ past.

He had buried both of them so deeply in his mind the last year, that he was afraid to bring them into the daylight of the bright desert sun. But he couldn’t keep them down either, with the gigantic grey buildings that massively changed his life right in front of him.

_A night full of childish enthusiasm, secrets and mysteries in the arid desert air. When they found and rescued Shiro with Keith and discovered Blue together the next day, only to immediately set off into the vast edges of the universe._

The first journey that started here for him, made him the Blue Paladin of Voltron.

_A night full of bottled up feelings that finally spilt over and a vague melancholy that lingered in the air. His heart had felt so incredibly full when he first kissed Allura under the starlight, even though the mood of their last night on Earth was unsettling._

The second journey he started from here, ended his time as the Red Paladin of Voltron.

And now he headed back to the Garrison again to start a third journey.

Where would it take him, now that he wasn’t a paladin anymore? Where would he be afterwards? What memories would he look back to? Would he regret his decision?

“What are you thinking about?” Veronica asked, growing impatient as he wallowed in his memories in silence.

“Nothing,” he said, startled before sighing and admitting.“Everything? I don’t know...”

She gave him a concerned look, which shifted into a soft, knowing smile.

“Just keep your eyes on the road, Veronica!”he gasped, waving her off with his hands overly dramatically, hoping she would drop whatever topic she was about to bring up. “Remember the last time you didn’t watch the road!"

“Oh my god, that was one time!”

“Yeah and we almost died!”

“ _No te preocupes_ ,” she laughed wholeheartedly, but settled her eyes back on the road nonetheless. “I know you’re doing the right thing. If you ask me, it’s about time you go off into space again. Rachel has been complaining about you non-stop.”

“What? Why?”he cried out, scandalized that his sister would do such a thing. “She’s the one that never finishes her chores!”

He adjusts in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest mumbling under his breath, “I’m finally back home after _years_ and this is how she treats me?! This betrayal is unbelievable.”

He tried to keep a serious dramatic face, but soon Veronica starts chuckling, and it doesn’t take long for him to also crumble into quiet laughter.

Outside the orange desert flew past and was replaced by giant aircraft hangars and other buildings as they closed up to the Garrison. Lance silently watched the scenery changing. He had spent the the last days thinking about Keith’s words, about being a paladin, about the missing Alteans, and about Allura.

If he really wanted to spread her message of peace and unity, he couldn’t sit by idle while the others went out to actually do it. As much it pained him to admit it Keith was right, Allura would have wanted him to go.

And if he was honest to himself for a moment… _he_ wanted to go.

“No, but seriously, Lance. I think this adventure will be good for you,” Veronica added after a while of comfortable silence, patting his knee affectionately. “As much as you love Kaltenecker, you’re much more of a pilot and a sharpshooter than a farmer, _hermanito_.”

And with an honest smirk on her face she pulled up in front of the main entrance of the Garrison. Lance took a deep breath and nodded.

“Thanks, Veronica,” he said with a smile.

He probably should’ve felt offended, but maybe she was right. Maybe it really was time to head off into unknown territory again.

Surely not every journey from here on would end in the worst way possible, right?

* * *

 

 

"Allura? What are you doing here?"

Allura turned around in a quick motion, smile disappearing from her face. Her breath left her, her head still fuzzy from the effort she had made a few moments ago to conjure the cloud shark. She gaped at him for a few ticks before she got a hold of herself and settled for a neutral, albeit cold- expression to her ex-lover.

He repeated himself, “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you the same thing,” she frowned, and even though she had gained the power to reading morals, his mind was still an enigma to her. “Emperor Lotor.”

“Well, as childish as it may sound, I asked you first,”  He walked closer, gaze still focused solely on her. His height was as impressive as she remembered, towering over her and making her have to look up to meet his eyes. “And this is _my_ castle and I was not expecting any visitors.”

Her whole body tingled with something, that she forcefully categorized as unpleasantness.

“ _Your_ castle?” she scoffed and raised her chin with pride. “I beg your pardon, I am the Goddess of this palace and Pollux is my domain. You have no say here.”

“A Goddess… “ he trailed off, losing himself to deep concentration. She could pinpoint the exact moment the realization came to him and he rolled his eyes, muttering a low _unbelievable_ before getting his attention back to her. “The Goddess of Fate, I presume?”

“Indeed, I am,” she replied, frown deepening. She tried to understand what was going on, it seemed obvious enough that he had reached a conclusion so quickly and it bothered her that he knew more than she did. He always was one step ahead of her.

Her heart was beating strong in her ears, and why did she still have a beating heart anyway? She didn’t exactly need one anymore, and Allura silently  prayed to the White Lion that her expression was as unreadable as his.

A part of her, (a small part), had the urge to go to him and give him a hug, cry and apologize for what Voltron had done to him.

She knew now that she should have stopped and listened, she knew she should have given him a chance. She now knew the truth of what happened (Keith and Lance’s fates were too close to Lotor’s story for her not to know) and the guilt she carried was more fresh and tangible as it ever was before she died.

They had left him to die alone. She wasn’t so sure it had been painless.

However, the pain of betrayal had been too much for Allura, clouding her judgment and decision making through her broken heart. Not like that was a justification for a life sentence (she knew it wasn’t) but it was all she had at the moment.

Besides, he should have told her.

If he had loved her, if his _feelings for her were true_ he should have talked to her about the Alteans and his plans. Her anger had not been out of nowhere and he had lied to her about the matter that she cared about the most. And that thought alone, however selfish it was,  was enough to keep her in her place.

Allura had been able to ignore her broken heart for months after he was gone. She had tried to not think about him, instead busying herself with more urgent matters like  the Paladins, the coalition, and the whole Earth situation was the perfect distraction. She was sure she could do so again, and once he left the palace she wouldn’t look for him. They would go their separate ways.

Lotor stared at her for what seemed forever and in a palace that was based on eternity it was quite overwhelming. The silence was full of all the things left unsaid between them.

Finally, she  cleared her throat.

“If you are just going to stand there and say nothing, I’d much rather go back to my room,” Allura said, turning to walk away. “You can find your way out on your own.”

Her pride was untouched, but the million questions she had were still unanswered. She _should_ know, that was clear enough, since she was the ruler of the palace. It was just a matter of time before she figured it out on her own, without Lotor’s help.

She heard him let out a sigh in frustration.

“Allura, I’m not going anywhere. I live here,” he finally said, loud enough to make her stop on her tracks. She didn’t turn to face him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

“What do you mean?”

“Have you heard of a place called Jarre?”

_Oh no._

* * *

 

 

“Keith, would you _please_ stop it!” Pidge hissed quietly and stretched across the table to grab his fingers and press them flat against the surface to stop him from, tapping them nervously.

“Yeah man, those noises really make me nervous,” Hunk added and eyed the room sceptically, “Like, is there something we don’t know? Is this mission dangerous? You would have told us, right?”

“Hunk, I honestly don’t think this is about the mission,” Pidge stated plainly and Keith rolled his eyes in slight exasperation, as she pulled back, still glaring at him.

“It’s not? Phew, what a relief.”

“Of course not. Have you ever seen Keith, the Black Paladin, the Marmora agent, the prodigy with the knife, the man with a cosmic wolf, -nervous about a secret or even a high-stakes-mission?” she added with a knowing smirk. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Can you please shut up for one second? I’m not in the mood for this nonsense,” he growled back at her and crossed his arms, trying to ignore them both, as they continued chuckling and chatting on the other side of the table.

They’ve been waiting in one of the smaller conference rooms of the Garrison for at least 20 minutes, and still no one else had showed up. Not even Shiro, who was never late. And most certainly not Lance, who probably wouldn’t show up at all.

Of course, Pidge was right  (as usual) and Keith’s nervousness didn’t originate from some lame ass search and rescue mission. He had done hundreds of them, if not more.

This mission specifically had never been more than an inconvenient nuisance anyway. Keith  already knew, this was a “needle in the haystac” situation and basically pointless. Anyone could do a search and rescue mission for the Alteans, it didn’t have to be them. It didn’t have to be the Paladins of Voltron.

 _Former_ Paladins of Voltron, he corrected himself quietly.

Maybe Lance was right and their time for adventuring across the universe together was over. They weren’t teenagers thrown together by crazy circumstances anymore, after all. They were adults with different lives and occupations, living on different planets, doing different things.

Maybe-

“Hey guys, what’s up? Sorry for making you wait, but you know the deal, gotta save the best for last!”

With some semblance of his old bravado, Lance walked into the room. His hands gesturing wildly, pointing finger guns at all of them and on his lips he wore a smile that Keith couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not. But it didn’t really matter in this moment, because right now he sat there, slack-jawed, with his arms crossed and his mind baffled.

Lance actually came.

He was here.

Right here.

And right behind him, a quite happy  (but also mildly annoyed) Shiro quietly entered the room.

Hunk didn’t waste another second, stood up and swooped Lance up in a big hug, cheering, “You made it, buddy!”

“What a sight for sore eyes,” Pidge grinned from ear to ear as Lance and her  bumped their fists together it a secret handshake only they knew.

And Keith sat there, swallowing the lump in his throat while his chest suddenly felt like it was on fire all over again. Lance really came because of his words.

“Hi,” he managed to croak out lamely.

“Hey,” Lance smiled weakly with a nod, then sat down right next to him.

“Let’s get this briefing started, friends,” Shiro said and powered up the screen on the wall of the conference room with a remote. “Unfortunately we’re already late, because of a certain Paladin not showing up here on time,” he added, side-eyeing Lance.

“That’s on Veronica! You can all be glad I’m even alive at this point,”  he explained in a rather dramatic fashion. “First she takes forever to get ready, then she drives like a maniac without watching the road ahead.”

Keith snorted, suddenly regaining control over his facial features. “Are you sure _she_ took forever to get ready?”  

Lance gasped audibly, as Hunk and Pidge snickered along. Shiro cut their banter short.

“Well, we’re all here now, aren’t we? So let’s get down to business.”

Lance watched as the screens behind Shiro flickered to life and showed the Garrison logo for a few seconds. He still felt a little uneasy being back here, and sitting next to the guy that has been trying to one-up him since forever made him even more antsy. But since he decided to give this whole thing a shot and actually came here, he couldn’t really bolt out of the room again because of this _slight_ unease.

So he instead focused his eyes on the screens, trying his best to ignore Keith sitting right next to him. After a few seconds of silence and Shiro muttering something Lance could only assume were quiet curses about technology, the screen split in two distinctive parts.

On the left side Krolia’s face appeared, her expression neutral, and she greeted them with a “You’re late” and a silent nod towards Keith, and on the right side of the screen Coran’s face appeared.

“Paladins! It’s so good to see you all!” Coran smiled widely, cheering instantly, as he realized they all could see him. “Oh, this reminds me of the good old times. You all have to visit again soon, there have been so much improvements since you were here the last time!”

“Coran, we were all there, like, two weeks ago,” Pidge rolled her eyes, but Lance could hear the fondness in her voice.

“I know, Number Five, but it feels like deca-phoebes already, and you know how the old saying goes: _Don’t leave the olphüxa alone until the znorq quintant!_ ” Coran’s laughter filled the room and even though no one had ever heard this Altean saying before, his bright enthusiasm lightened the mood.

“Isn’t it more like _‘Don’t poke the vrophrux on the znorq quintant?’_ Or … wait, is that something you can eat? _Did_ we eat that last time? Now I’m confused,” Hunk tried to bring his own knowledge into the conversation, but immediately trailed off. Coran, however, was ready to jump right into a lively discussion about the Altean fauna and possibly connected idioms.

Lance felt himself smiling, and with a small glance around the room, he suddenly realised that he missed this a lot. Maybe he had been too distracted to recognise this familiar tingle when they celebrated Allura, but right now, he was sure about it. It wasn’t the mission itself that suddenly felt right, or the conference here in the Garrison.

It was the small things, like being surrounded by his friends, laughing about crazy words that Coran seemed to make up on the spot, exchanging knowing glances with everyone and watching Shiro allow it all to continue in mildly frustrated silence, because he knows it’s good for their morale.

“Yeah, uhm, I’m here too?” came another voice from Coran’s screen and stopped the conversation. Coran blinked twice and then slapped his forehead.

“Oh yes, that’s right! Come here and greet your friends properly!” he chimed merrily and excitedly waved his hands at someone off screen.

Then Acxa appeared next to him with an annoyed frown, while Coran slung his arm around her and continued cheerfully, “Acxa has been trying to help me here with the recovered Alteans. We thought she could probably talk to them about Lotor and his plans, and maybe-”

“Have you made any progress with them?” Krolia interrupted.

“Unfortunately not, they are still unresponsive,” Acxa replied, without giving Coran a chance for any further shenanigans.

Shiro cleared his throat, beginning the meeting for real, “So, what information do we have on hand right now?”

Krolia took a deep breath, tapped on her device and on the lower half of her screen, a map showed up.

“The rare metal we found traces of in the preservation facility, was confirmed to be Glorm,” she explained. “It was used thousands of years ago and I checked with the joint archives of the Blade, the Galra Empire and the ancient Altean trade register – but there is almost no evidence of it anywhere. We know that was traded in this quadrant here.” she said, and, on the map, an area lit up accordingly. “But otherwise, there’s nothing. We don’t have any known location from where the metal originates, and no one seems to have used it in centuries.”

“Oh, I have heard about Glorm before!” Coran said. “Back in the old days, when Alfor was constructing the Lions of Voltron, we underwent research for different materials and metals. I heard about Glorm, it is  a very durable and rare element, but even back then it was more of a mystical material. It was so rare, I’ve never seen it before. The planet itself was considered a myth.”

“So was Oriande,” Shiro pointed out. “Coran, why was this material so rare?”

“The people who worked and traded Glorm, were the Byrep. Centuries ago they abandoned their secret planet and vanished. No one was ever able to uncover where it really came from.”

 

Keith felt the invisible haystack getting even bigger, almost like they were already lost in it at the beginning of their mission. When he looked around the small table, he could see the faces of his friends fall, frowning and trying to process this new information. 

Shiro rubbed his chin, lost in thought, while his mother checked more information on her screen about the Byrep. He saw Pidge open her mouth a few times, but all that came out were sighs accompanied by irritated looks. Hunk’s eyes were darting around as he probably juggled several ideas to find the planet already. Then he turned to Lance, who looked strangely calm. He most certainly wasn’t panicking, but he also didn’t seem relieved that their mission was about to fail right from the start.

“Wait, I think I know this quadrant,” Acxa interrupted the unpleasant mood, pointing at her screen with wide eyes. “I don’t know anything about Glorm, but when Lotor had a secret team of scientists construct his inter-reality gate, he always travelled alone to make sure no one had any information about his plans. Not even Ezor, Zethrid, Narti or myself were allowed to join him on those trips to his lab. But when I received orders from him while he was away, I would check the local from where he was sending them, and they always came from this far-off corner of the known universe.”

“Acxa, do you think there’s a chance that Lotor actually has been in this quadrant and possibly hid the second Altean colony there?”, Shiro asked and she nodded through the video call.

“Somewhere in the surrounding area would be possible and make sense. It’s so far off, that you almost never come across the quadrant, if you don’t intend to actually go there. Not even the Galra empire had spread that far,” she said, voice shaking in  a remorseful undercurrent. “We never knew about his colonies or the Alteans in general, Lotor made sure to hide them from us. But we knew that there was a lab and a team of special pilots he had under his control. He used them before when trying to recover the stuck trans-reality comet, before Voltron freed it from the reality rift.”  

The silence in the room felt heavy and Keith’s thoughts wandered back to the alternate reality, where Alteans had conquered the universe. Lotor had tricked them into getting the comet out for him, so that he could finally construct a ship similar to Voltron from its ore and travel into the quintessence field – if that even was his plan.

Apparently not even his generals knew what he was really up to.

Lotor’s plan still remained a mystery.

“Well, thank you for disclosing this information, Acxa. We appreciate your input, and you don’t need to feel bad about your past,” Shiro said with an understanding expression and a thankful nod. We’re all here today because we are trying to uncover secrets that might have led us to wrong decisions.”

Acxa seemed relieved and smiled tentatively. Krolia cleared her throat.

“With the additional information, I suggest you start searching for clues in the quadrant we mentioned. I have sent the data to the Garrison already, including all we know about Glorm. I trust you to work something out, but I have other duties besides this belated meeting, so I’ve got to go now. Good luck on your mission, paladins,” she explained matter-of-factly, and then, with a much softer look, added, “Keith, be careful. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom,” he smiled warmly.

“Aw, bye Keith’s Galra Mom!” Hunk cried, waving at the screen as it faded to black, showing Krolia’s roll her eyes good naturedly.

Lance turned to Keith, who blushed and elbowed Hunk for his teasing.

“I think we have gathered all the information we need for now,” Shiro said. “Coran, we’ll be in touch if we get anymore intel, but I think we have enough to start our search.”

Coran nodded enthusiastically next to Acxa and he also proceeded to say his goodbye, “I hope everything goes well, paladins! Be cautious in those outer regions, they tend to be more dangerous than well-known areas. Good luck!”

After their screen went black, and the video hologram closed, Shiro turned around, facing the table full of paladins.

“I’ll see to preparations now, since you’ll need a ship and a wormhole after all. I guess we will have everything ready by tomorrow morning, so you all can stay the night at the Garrison,” he said, before turning to Keith and Lance at the table. “Since neither of you have a place here already, I’ll organize a room for you to stay in.”

“Uh,” Keith said, pointing between him and a baffled Lance. “You mean, like, _one_ room?”

 

* * *

 

Jarre was far from where you wanted to be after dying. 

Allura knew little about it, no more than the vague, general information she had gotten from her meeting with the White Lion.

She knew that the great gray desert existed as a place of purification, a place to pay for your wrongdoings in life, before you could move on to the eternal happiness that was Pollux. She also had the understanding that every soul that ended up there had a certain time they had to complete, depending on how wrong their transgressions had been: from a mere few ticks to full deca-phoebes.

Or even eternity, as some sins are too large to be purified.

Naturally, Jarre had its own God, who was in charge of moving souls from one plane of existence to the other. Allura was a clever woman and  had come to the conclusion, that she was probably sitting in front of said God.

Lotor.

After their tense first meeting, Lotor had suggested for them to go to a neutral place and, quoting him, _talk like the mature adults they were._ Allura had agreed and asked him to show her the way. He had walked through the castle with her, instead of just appearing there at random. He always was a gentleman.

They took their seats at a large, marble dining table, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows that illuminated the room beautifully, letting glimpses the surrounding nature shine through. Everything around them was gorgeous and she might have been able to truly enjoy it, if not for the situation she was currently in.

They stared at each other in heavy silence.

Allura felt tense and awkward, unsure on how to begin the difficult conversation, or how to approach him. They both clearly had walls up, walls so high and so thick she doubted it was possible to tear them down through words. It was ironic how once upon a time, she used to think she understood him. She used to think they knew each other.

Well, not anymore.

Did they ever?

“As I’m sure you already deduced,“ Lotor said suddenly, taking her out of her thoughts, “I am the other deity of the Afterworld, the God of Jarre. When I arrived, I was told to wait for the Goddess of Fate, the other side to the coin that keeps the balance of this world. The one who would look after the living, as I do for the dead.” His eyes rose and meet hers across the table. "Of course I never expected that person to be you, Allura.”

“Likewise.” she replied.

Lotor’s face remained stoic and with a wave of his hand, two cups appears before them. Allura recognized the color and aroma of Altea herbal tea. The smell reminded her of her childhood, the fresh sting of homesickness making it impossible to drink. He took a sip.

“I’m not surprised, you weren’t expecting to see me, either.”

“I was told about the other deity but it slipped out of my mind. And even if I had remembered, I would have never imagined that _you_ out of everyone, would have been chosen,” the words were harsh from her mouth, and his shoulder stiffened. She hadn’t meant to sound so confrontational, but she saw him take a shallow breath, his brows furrowed. She had upset him, that much she could tell. Looked like she still had some effect on him.

“I will not say I’m sorry it’s me, if that’s what you want. We both were chosen, for reasons that you will only uncover by asking the White Lion themselves. Until then, we have to deal with our new situation.” He sat straight, his chin slightly upwards. “We will be living together for the foreseeable future and will probably need to work together at some point too.”

“The castle seems large enough for the both of us.” Allura said, eyes steely. She wouldn’t let him rattle her.

“I believe we could reach an agreement to meet as little as possible.”

And then Allura paused.

Did she really want to begin her new “life” by having to avoid her only companion?

Pollux was out there and she could visit, yet she’d never be able to form a true connection with any of the souls that resided there, as long as she was a Goddess. They were too different and no one would be able to understand her responsibilities and the powers that came with them.

Sitting before her, with his Altean tea and look of fierce determination, Allura felt a familiar pull to the man she once thought she could love.

A part of her craved to get closer to Lotor, but this time she wouldn’t allow herself to fall for his charms. They were the only two deities that existed in this realm, and she wasn’t keen on having a lonely afterlife. Eternity was such a long time.

It had nothing to do with the familiar tingles she was feeling just by looking at him.

Definitely not that.

“Actually,” she said, projecting her voice to keep from quivering. “I don’t think that is the best solution - us avoiding each other, I mean.”

Lotor stared at her like she had grown an Altean Parrex’s horn in the middle of her face.

“Then what are you suggesting?”

“Why don’t we try to coexist?” she offered, waving her hand in front of her. “As some sort of amiable coworkers?”

“Amiable coworkers?” he repeated, incredulously.

“Yes,” she nodded. "We won’t exactly be friends, of course not,- but at least we can enjoy each other’s company. Think of it as a nobility meeting, I believe you must have had attended many of those. Or a diplomatic meetup, if you may.“

Lotor starred, his eyes never leaving her face, “You want us to talk about the weather and other foolish topics and pretend we are little more than strangers?.”

“You don’t have to say it like that but yes,” Allura sighed in defeat. “I guess that’s what I meant.”

Lotor stared at the world outside, looking thoughtful. After what felt longer than necessary, he closed his eyes.

“Let’s try your way, then,” he said finally, opening his eyes to take the final sips of his tea. “We will be polite and superficial.”

“Excellent!” Allura smiled, clapping her hands together.

“As _enjoyable as_ this conversation was, I must take my leave,” he said, standing to his feet and placed a hand on the clear glass, to watch it disappear in front of their eyes. “I have some matters to attend to.”

“Of course,” Allura nodded. “We can chat another time.”

He didn’t reply, as he stepped outside only to vanish into thin air.

“Hmph,” she huffed, taking the warm tea between her hands. “No need to show off.”

She picked up the cup and saucer, heading back to her room to try and make sense of whatever had just happened.

* * *

 

 

It had been calm, the way back to her room. So many things have happened in such a short amount of time and she was still struggling to process them all. Somehow, her body automatically took her back. If it was because of her powers or if her subconscious had remembered it for her, she wasn’t quite sure. The door opened for her and closed as soon as she was inside. 

She couldn’t remember ever being so mentally exhausted before -not even when she had woken up from her pod in the Castle of Lions after 10.000 deca-phoebes- or feeling so utterly alone. When her whole species had disappeared and she became a princess with no realm to call her own, she had had Coran, the mice and later on the support of her found family, the paladins. They had kept her sane and grounded, their smiles had been a source of comfort even during the darkest of times. Now, though, things were different. She was truly _alone_.

She suppressed a sob. Then another. And then she couldn’t hold back anymore and the tears ran freely down her cheeks. She violently rubbed her eyes with her hands in a hopeless effort to stop them from coming.

It was humiliating for her to break down in such disgraceful manner, she wasn’t a child anymore. She had faced a war, fought in it and ultimately stopped it. She was strong and powerful. She was the last princess of Altea… _The last one._

And she was dead.

And so was Lotor.

Allura thought of him. Of his unexpected reappearance in her existence, and how he was going to take on this eternal life journey with her. How cold he had been and how distant they were from each other.

They were broken, broken without repair.

She had lied to herself; a colleague relationship was not going to be enough. Not after all they have been through, not after she had experienced how it was to be close to him. To have someone who could understand her like Lotor could. Who loved her like she thought he did, like she thought she could.

But that was over. He clearly hated her now. Even if they shared nonsensical conversations about the weather, she was still all alone.

Oh, _oh._ Yet there was a small flame of hope. One small candle in the darkness that seemed to engulf her. Even if her own romantic life was doomed, even in the afterlife, she could still do good for other’s.

Lance and Keith.

She could at least help them. She was powerful enough to guide them to their own happiness, to the romance and the happy ending she had lost once upon a time. And she could take care of the rest, ensuring that they got the calm, fulfilling lives they deserved.

Until they met again in Pollux, because even though she couldn’t see their fates beyond their deaths, she was sure they’d get here eventually. Allura was going to be watching and sending them all her comfort and love in every way that was available to her, hoping they could feel it, somehow.

No more crying or going around in self-pity. Allura smiled, finding new determination.

Until they met again, she would try her best.

 

* * *

 

 

In another part of the castle - not as far away as Allura might expect- Lotor appeared in his own room and collapsed in his bed.

His job had been especially hard.

Too many souls required a pass to Pollux.

Too much time spent in Jarre.

He hated Jarre and its endless sands. Everything was colorless, a gray he’d never experienced when he was alive. The few barren trees were nothing but a pitiful sight and there was nothing else but that: sand and trees.

Sand and trees and souls in constant agony, souls he had to interact with constantly.

At least he knew most of them would be transferred to Pollux in due time.

At least his responsibilities were not to punish but to save.

He knew that their wrongful doings were the cause for them to roam those lands and that they had earned their place, but he could still feel the phantom pain, the horrible nightmares, the endless torture that promised purification that every soul in Jarre experienced. Lotor had suffered and endured his fair share of it. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind, reminding himself that  he had paid for his own actions and that punishment was over. He’d never experience it again.

He was safe. Safe and clean.

Who would have thought the only way for him to eventually find salvation  would be by dying. He chuckled at the irony.

And then, there was Allura. Beautiful, charming, deadly Allura. His cause of death and heartbreak was back in the present like a thorn in his side.

Only a few doboshes together and he already felt being pulled towards her. It had been like that since the very beginning; Allura had a strong gravitational aura around her, it was nearly impossible for anyone not to get (and _want_ to get) closer and closer.

But get _too_ close, he reminded himself, and she will burn you with no regrets. Ever since he became a deity, he had had to deal with the lonely sadness of missing her and the constant pain of losing her. That alone seemed to clear his thoughts and he allowed his feelings of anger and betrayal to fill him up again. He wanted to hate her. _Oh_ , how bad he wanted to hate her.

His feelings for her were blistering ashes that might turn back into fire, if he wasn’t careful.

But he would be.

Lotor would keep his distance, he would make his walls stronger so no ray of her light would get in again. Reinforce them with steel and a lifetime of broken promises.

It was decided.

He would not allow himself to ever fall in love with Allura again.

And with that thought in mind, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> No te preocupes - Don't worry  
> Hermanito -Little Brother
> 
> BLOOPERS FOR THIS CHAPTER! 
> 
> Lance: sighs  
> Veronica: It’s okay, you can do this.  
> Lance: I guess I can do this. 
> 
> Lotor: is there  
> Allura: is stressed  
> Lotor: WTF  
> Allura: Dude, this is my house.  
> Lotor: No, I live here. I’m a god.  
> Allura: gasps
> 
> Keith: is nervous  
> Pidge: Haha!  
> Hunk: Huh?  
> Lance: is also there  
> Keith: WTF
> 
> Shiro: What do we know?  
> Krolia: Not that much.  
> Coran: Crazy words, crazy story, but yeah - it’s probably not that much  
> Everyone: :(  
> Acxa: I know something.  
> Shiro: YAY! We can do this...  
> Everyone: Yay, I guess.  
> Shiro: … tomorrow! Also, Lance and Keith, there’s like ONE ROOM available.  
> Lance: gasps
> 
> Allura: How about we act like coworkers?  
> Lotor: -_-  
> Allura: ._.  
> Lotor: Okay. Gotta go now.  
> Allura: -_- 
> 
> Allura: :(  
> Allura: Actually, no. I’ve still got friends. 
> 
> Lotor: :(  
> Lotor: Is she going to kill me again?


	3. Love is a feeling buried with me in the yard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghosthunters! 
> 
> Also, Lotura tension going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so sorry for the delay! Life happened (including me getting the stomach flu) and we also got ourselves in a bad writer's block. We're already working on the next chapter so hopefully, it will be out faster. 
> 
> Once again, thank you to our amazing Beta Astro! You're the best. 
> 
> To our readers, thank you for coming back! Your kudos and comments lighten our day. You're the reason we keep going! 
> 
> Love,  
> LittleDream

 

 

The gardens were a beautiful and peaceful sight. A perfect spot to relax and let go of all worries that could possibly bother a god, so Lotor came here and followed the paths through this paradise whenever he felt particularly bothered, which – frankly – wasn’t that rare. Especially since _she_ showed up some time ago. He shook his head to get rid off her image and focused on his surroundings.

Vast lawns of green grass and neatly cut bushes, flowers in bright colors, plants in the most exotic shapes and little buzzing animals in between that filled the warm air with pleasant sounds. The afterlife sure was a wondrous place. Lotor hadn’t really figured out why there even were animals (or their souls?) or why some of those plants looked and smelled exactly like the ones he had loved so much on Ventar’s colony planet. But after a while, he had just accepted things from his past randomly re-occurring here as a perk of being a deity.

Because they mostly were things he liked to see again anyways. When he learned about his ethereal animal companion, he was very surprised to find an old friend here in Pollux and by his side again: Kova.

He had loved the cat his whole life, even though the witch had tried to use him against him. That he ended up here in Pollux meant, that the immortal quintessence cat had ultimately died too. Just as he did, after a life that had lasted thousands of years but ran out of time before he found true happiness.

However, as God of Jarre he was in charge of an incredible amount of souls in the endless grey desert, so he was pleased to hear that a familiar soul would help him with his duties. A companion he could always summon to his side and give him tasks for his absence. Kova had always been intelligent and attentive, so it made sense that he would be of assistance when it came to transferring souls. Their journey together started here anew.

As his stroll through the luscious gardens finally came to a halt, he sat down on a bench under a beautiful Altean pavilion, overgrown with vines and little purple blossoms. Lotor closed his eyes, felt the sunshine on his skin and listened to the placid scene that surrounded him.

Some painful memories, regrets and old scars still lingered in his mind, but still, it was nice to finally just sit somewhere and not deal with constant paranoia and desperate plans to outsmart his own parents. Just flowers, peace and quiet. Like he had always wished for.

“Oh, hello Lotor. I didn’t expect to find you here.”

Of course.

Of course, she had to burst in and pop his little bubble of tranquillity.

He felt tense like he always did when she was near him. It was almost as if some pieces of his old fears had come back to haunt him in a new form.

“Hello, Allura,” he sighed in defeat and opened his eyes, “I see you too found the way into the gardens.”

“Indeed. It’s beautiful here!” she nodded enthusiastically and instantly a bright smile lit up her face.

It took Lotor by surprise and he really tried hard to not openly gape at her. Surrounded by flowers and warmth, in a light summer dress and with her silver-white hair flowing over her shoulders, she truly looked like the goddess she was.

She had always looked like a goddess to him. Something otherworldly.

Lotor felt the knot in his chest tighten.

“Yes,” he agreed quietly, “It truly is.”

“May I sit with you?” she asked politely, as she came a few steps closer.

“But of course,” he moved a bit to the side. So much for peace and quiet.

When she sat, Lotor immediately began toying with the idea of excusing himself and leaving. This was something he did lately. Allura hated it when he just vanished into thin air and petty as he was, he liked getting back at her for… well, everything. This weird amiable co-worker thing she had proposed did little more than getting on his nerves and stressing him out anyways.

“Do you come here often?”

Her soft voice ripped him out of his thoughts, and before he could even make up some weird excuse he replied, “Yes, I quite enjoy how placid and tranquil it is.”

“You’re right, but it also feels so vibrant and alive,” she responded quickly and cautiously touched one of the vines crawling up a pillar, “I really appreciate that.”

Lotor stayed quiet and watched as she took in the view calmly. Her smile was still there, but became more and more somber as her last statement hung heavily in the air between them.

 _Vibrant and alive._ What an interesting choice of words, when they were both broken and dead.

“I think I will come here to read,” she finally said, clearly trying to bring back a lighter theme.

With a sigh, he gave in and offered, “I can imagine that the gardens would really go well with some Altean literature from the Zerülean age.”

“Oh, you mean because of the botanical revolution under Queen Vallonca? That’s true, I haven’t even thought of that yet,” she answered, smiling again, and he could easily see the usual flicker of curiosity in her stunning blue eyes. He couldn’t help but smile himself.

“It seems like all eras and topics are available for us, so I think you can find garden literature to your heart’s content,” he added and felt himself fall into an easy conversation.

They proceeded to talk about different reading materials and gardens in general, about Altean architecture and Galran flora and fauna.  

It had always been easy to talk to Allura. It had always felt like this before. Like they had known each other forever, but at the same time like they found each other again with every sentence they exchanged. What she said and how she said it sometimes resonated with him so deeply, that he found himself still thinking about it days later. Whatever topic they chose, it felt like they just connected.  

And if he was honest to himself for a moment, it still felt like they were connected. Not only by the bond between them, but also by their whole story so far. The Altean princess and the Galran emperor, their fates intertwined during their lifetimes and now the two of them even end up in the same palace as deities of the afterlife? It sounded almost like an old fairy tale, but somehow the middle part got twisted (maybe by a petty, bad writer) and now their happily ever after had gone terribly wrong.

At some point, their conversation grew silent, but the mood was still calm and pleasant. There was no need to talk anymore, so they sat and enjoyed each other’s company. Maybe it wasn’t just a cruel mockery that he had to spend the afterlife with her. Maybe it was a good thing to have a co-worker to talk to, a lost … _friend_ to reconnect with.

When he turned his head, he saw a contemplative look on Allura’s face. There seemed to be a vague melancholy surrounding her. Eventually, her eyes went up to the roof of the little pavilion. Lotor followed her gaze and suddenly found himself in an ocean of little stars. A night sky was painted across the ceiling in a traditional Altean style. He had never seen this fresco before.

They sat together in silence, watching the universe together like they had done so many times before.

“I often wished for a place like this during the last years of my life,” she admitted quietly.

Lotor felt a familiar tug, like a little fissure clenching his heart once again. She didn’t have to say it, he already knew what she meant. It wasn’t the fresco or the pavilion, no, not even the garden itself.

She meant a place to just sit in silence and be at peace. A place to feel at home.

“I know,” he answered quietly, “I did too. For centuries.”

Sitting here, lost in her presence and the fresco of an endless night, he conveniently left out the part, where he would have told her, that he once thought he had found such a place by her side.

For a brief moment, she had been his starry sky. His universe. A glimpse of peace and quiet. But in the end, there was nothing left but a broken heart and a cruel death. No amiable co-worker small talk would ever change that fact, even when they got along.

Lotor took a deep breath and got up.

“It has been a lovely conversation, Allura,” he said, “But I fear you’ll have to excuse me, as I have other duties to attend to.”

And with this lie, he did what he always did to get under her skin.

He vanished on the spot.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I don’t think you grasp how severely dumb this situation is,” Lance sighed as he grabbed his bags from Veronica’s car. “How can there only be one room available in the whole Garrison? This is ridiculous.”

“I really don’t see the problem,” Veronica chuckled, “You guys are about to set off on a mission that could possibly take several weeks or months. You’ll have to share the space on the ship too.”

“Exactly. So why start now, when we’re still on the ground?”

He shouldered the backpack and carried the larger bag in his hands, as he followed his sister out of the giant garage. “I just want to enjoy some peace and quiet while I still can. You know, going through my skincare routine, putting on a refreshing face mask, drinking some tea and relaxing.”

“And you can’t do that while Keith is there?” Veronica asked with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe he would join you and you could both put on face masks, drink tea and relax a little.”

Her smirk was all over her face and Lance felt a blush creeping up his neck.

“ _No_ , he would not, and _no_ , we could not. Keith is all about the mission here, the mission there, swords, knives, wolves, Galra stuff,” he blurted out, making dismissive gestures and avoiding looking at her face again.

“Hm, so you’re saying he’s all work and no fun?”

“What? No, that’s not it.” Keith was fun. He was nice to have around and he probably could make him laugh like no one else. He sighed, “I don’t know.”

They stopped as they reached the part of the building where they had to split up since Veronica was headed to her office and Lance would go to the room Shiro assigned him and Keith.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be okay. I have shared a room with a Galra several times and despite their stern demeanor, I never found it to be anything less than _incredibly_ pleasant and relaxing”, Veronica then said with a cryptic smile and after a few seconds of silence he caught on to what she hid in these words and just openly gaped at her.

“What?”

“Gotta go now, see you tomorrow morning, _hermanito_!”, she laughed hastily and turned around while waving goodbye.

“Wait, what?! What do you mean by _incredibly pleasant and relaxing_? Which Galra are you talking about? HEY, GET BACK HERE!”

But Veronica disappeared behind the next corner still laughing, leaving him standing there like a lost and somewhat confused child.

“What the fuck was that supposed to mean?” he muttered, and proceeded to walk towards their room.

Sharing a room with Keith wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t a problem at all, to be honest. Lance was actually pretty sure Keith would respect his “skin care routine and tea” time.

The problem was something different. Something warm and fuzzy. Something old and lingering. Something he hadn’t really figured out yet. Something almost as scary as the journey they were about to start.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“The same excuse as usual,” Allura huffed and then sighed, as she now sat alone under the painted night sky of the pavilion.

Conversations with Lotor still felt easy and sparked her interest in a lot of topics, (even though there were certain sore spots they probably should avoid discussing too much) but he seemed to be terribly busy all the time. Either that or he still actively tried to avoid her. Could his role as God of Jarre really demand that much attention? What did he do anyway? How did transferring souls even work?

The next moment she blinked dumbfoundedly when she suddenly realized that she wasn’t really attending _her duties_ at all.

What even were her duties in the first place?

Watching over the mortal realm and the fates of all beings, that much she knew for sure. But even with all those thousand voices and lives in her mind, her intervention wasn’t really needed that much. Most fates worked out on their own, and as the White Lion had warned her: _Meddling too much with the delicate fabric of destiny would only result in chaos._ So she had the more relaxing task between the two of them, apparently.

Although of course, there was this _one_ particular case she had already chosen to watch more closely.

With a smile on her lips, she stood up and walked over to the fountain next to the pavilion. She focussed and concentrated on their familiar quintessence, made the connection into the mortal realm and called the image of what she wanted to see on the surface of the water. Pleased with the flickering insight that was presented to her, she tried to figure out what was happening at the moment.

Shiro talked to Keith and Lance while showing them a room in the Galaxy Garrison facility, she remembered those dull corridors and rooms very well.

 _Oh_ , she realized, _it was actually_ their _room for the night_. While Shiro left and both of them immediately started arguing over who should get which bed, Allura made her own decision regarding this topic. 

With a sheepish smile on her face, she decided to attend to her duties as Goddess of Fate once again, to make destiny _a little_ more obvious for her friends.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So, guys, this will be your room,” said Shiro unceremoniously as he quickly passed his ID in front of the screening device located beside of the room., The doors opened with a soft _swish_. “I had Pidge add your Garrison cards as your personal keys. Take care not to lose them.” He looked straight at Lance when he said that,  and got an outrageous huff as the only reply.

Keith and Lance looked inside with rather unimpressed expressions. It was a simple room: two metallic beds, a matching nightstand for each, one lonely desk at one side and another door on the other. Keith assumed it was the bathroom. Clearly, it was not a suite at a five stars hotel, but it was better than sleeping on the cold floor in the middle of an unknown planet at war. Besides, he had spent enough time camping on his missions with the Blade to truly feel grateful for having an actual bed. He took one step to the right side of the room.

“Dibs on the bed on the right!” shouted Lance unexpectedly before throwing his bag onto it. It landed perfectly. He raised a brow and smirked victoriously at Keith.

That should have bothered him, make him want to retort and try to stop Lance from getting whatever he was after this time. It had always been like that with Lance, ever since that first day when saving Shiro. Instead, he felt his heart skip a beat at his stupid smile.

Shiro  glanced at Keith with curious eyes. He frowned. _Leave it._

Shiro read the mood and took it as his cue to leave.

“Well, If you need anything, I’ll be in the main control room for a while” He turned around and swiftly made his exit. “See you Lance, Keith!”

Lance waved to Shiro as he left before looking at Keith once again.

“I’m sorry if you wanted that bed, man, but you know, this sharpshooter has the best reflexes.” Lance flicked his finger in Keith’s direction, pretending to game a pistol. ”You couldn’t take them.”

“Lance, I didn’t want that specific bed” scoffed Keith, facing Lance and rolling his eyes. “What are you even talking about this time?”.

“Oh you can’t lie to me, Mister.The right bed is closer to the bathroom! Of course, you wanted it!”

But before Keith had time to retort to such nonsense, a really loud _bang_ coming from the room caught their attention.

They both turned their heads at the same time, eyes opened in surprise and alarm as they drew out their guns and pointed around, looking for the source of the noise. It took them a couple of seconds to compose themselves, calm their beating hearts and realize what had happened.

In the middle of the room, both their beds were clung together.

“¡OH DIOS MÍO! ¡Está embrujada! This place is haunted!” Lance’s shriek took Keith out of his own confusion and he saw Lance’s face become white as a sheet. It was unbelievable. The blue paladin had escaped his military school, got into too many dangerous battles, almost _died_ more than once and he was scared because he thought there was a ghost in their Garrison room? Keith suppressed a laugh.

“Oh come on, Keith, this is serious! How can you laugh about it?” groaned Lance, taking Keith’s shoulders and shaking them slightly, “There is a ghost in here! A _ghost!_ ”

“There is no _ghost,_ Lance.” Keith took his hands from his shoulders and placed them back to his sides. He tried to ignore the lingering tingles in his fingers from the touch.. “There must be another explanation.”

“Another explanation? For our beds to suddenly do,” Lance pointed at their joined beds with a frustrated expression. “That? I’m not staying here tonight. I’m going to ffind Shiro.”

As Lance took a step outside, he suddenly felt Keith grabbing him and pulling him back inside.

“You’re not doing that.” Keith retorted, his grin changing to a serious expression in a matter of ticks.

“Why not?”

“Shiro already told us this is the only available room, remember?” He explained and let Lance’s wrist go. “Besides, he said he’d be in the control room and I’m pretty sure Curtis is on duty tonight.”

Lance blinked a couple of times, but given the pink the flused across Keith’s face it was clear what he was insinuating.  He cleared his throat.

“Fine, we’re not going to Shiro. But that doesn’t negate the fact this place has something weird going on. And I refuse to sleep here unless we investigate.”

Keith made a mental note to investigate if one could die of sighing too much in one day. He decided the fastest way to end this was to go along with Lance.

“Okay, let’s do it then. Want to do the honors, ghostbuster?” He mocked a reverence facing the joined beds.  

Lance backed down a couple of steps.

“U-uh…you should go first Mullet. I think I get to choose because I had the idea in the first place.”

“You know that doesn’t make any sense, don’t you?”

Lance didn’t move an inch. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds.

Keith finally gave in with a roll of his eyes and walked towards the center of the room. Checked under the beds, circled around them a couple of times and finally sat on one side of them and bounced a bit. He felt utterly ridiculous during the whole ordeal and he thanked whatever deity existed Shiro had left a while ago, or else he would have been cackling at him at this point.

Keith called Lance from his sitting position.

“See? Nothing out of the ordinary here. Just two regular beds.” He let his back fall into the mattress.

“You didn’t even check why they’re stuck together like that!”

“Want to come and check that yourself? It was probably a weird magnetic dysfunction of the room or a bad prank from Pidge and Hunk. Unless…” Keith smirked at the ceiling, the feeling he got every time he teased Lance bubbling inside his chest, mixed with the realization that _oh for fucks sake he was going to sleep in the same bed as his long-time crush fuck._

How many nights had his horrible heart made him picture this exact same situation? How many times had he stayed up too late imaging such a cliché scene happened to him and Lance? The boy made him think like a lovestruck teenage girl that had watched too many romantic comedies.

“You’re shy because you have to sleep on the same bed with me?”

“Oh no, no, no! That’s ridiculous! Why would I mind sharing a bed with _you?_ ” started Lance, his tone high pitched. Keith could perfectly picture the way Lance would have his arms crossed in front of his chest and the adorable way he pouted every time he was arguing his point. “I certainly don’t mind, at all!”

“You sure?”

“Yes! I’m cuban, you dumb samurai! Latino! I lost count on how many times I shared a bed with my siblings and cousins! Don’t you think you’re special or anything. I was just worried about spirits!”

Lance’s tone during his rambling made Keith finally let out a laugh. He tried his hardest to ignore the slight crack on his own heart.

A cousin, a sibling. Of course Lance thought of him like family. Why would anyone mind sharing with someone from their own familiar circle?

It had been stupid of him to get all excited and fuzzy. It had been idiotic to let his heart _feel_ for Lance. It had always been and always would be.

Keith barely heard Lance´s footsteps as he made his way to the bathroom and slammed the door close.

Now, if Keith had had deity powers he would have seen Lance with his back to the door, sliding down until he reached the floor. He would have seen Lance clenching his chest trying to stop his hammering heart and his flushed face with eyes wide open. He would have certainly noticed the way Lance’s lower lip got red from him biting  it. He would have been able to read Lance’s mind and how the words _sleeping with Keith, for a whole night_ repeated over and over again like the sticky chorus of a pop song.

But he didn’t have powers, he was only a half-galra, and pretty much mortal.  

And so he once again put a bandaid over the newest crack on his heart, took a deep breath and buried what he felt for Lance down.

Deep, deep down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Days were quiet and went by quickly in the afterworld.

Allura started getting a better hold on her powers, regularly checking on her friends while she thought on what other creative signs she could send for Lance and Keith to realize their fates and often strolled around the castle with the calmness of those who know they have eternity on their fingertips.

That afternoon, though, she had been sitting outside in the garden, enjoying the warm weather with a cold glass of what Lance once called _sweetened tea_ and one of the Altean novels she had found in her room.

When she turned the last page with a heartfelt sigh, Allura decided she fancied a visit to the library. She had been there before but had only given a quick peek inside before moving on to the next room; she now wanted to explore it to her heart’s content. Plus, she already knew every book from the collection on her own bookshelves and perhaps it was time to try something new.

Allura stood from the comfortable garden chair and made her way back inside, her white dress fluttering with each energetic step.

It only took her a few doboshes to get to her destination, clearly recognizable by a massive set of doors at the end of the corridor. They were open, she noticed as she got closer, and a low masculine humming voice came from the inside. It had to be Lotor since they were the only two people living there.

She had never heard him sing before.

It was low and barely noticeable, but if she really tried, she’d be able to discern the song.  

Allura stood outside the library, silently listening. Her breath hitched as she recognized what he was singing. It was a nAltean lullaby. The same one her mothere used to sing to her when she was brushing her hair or putting her to sleep.

How did he know it? There was no way Honerva or Dayek would have sung that to him.

Regardless, the familiar lyrics made her heart stumble.

_Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green. When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen._

Lotor had a nice voice, she thought for a moment. It was warm and deep and flowed like honey, even when it was obvious he wasn’t even trying to sound good. It was unfair he was this good at something  like  singing. Completely and _utterly_ unfair. She was still settled on keeping a safe distance between them but a moment like this made her weak on the knees. She needed to stop it before It got even more to her.

She entered the library.

“You have a good voice, you know,” observed Allura as she walked closer to where he stood, trying to act casual. ”Did you perhaps take lessons when you were younger?

Lotor froze, the book he was holding with one hand caught up middle way between the shelf and himself. He lowered it down and placed it on the table within his reach. Allura found interesting how he was doing it manually, instead of just making the book appear in its rightful place.

“Zarkon accommodating music lessons in his valuable heir’s schedule? You are as funny as ever,” he retorted and then added, “To what do I owe your gracious presence, Allura?”

“I finished the book I was reading and fancied something new and out of my comfort zone,” she simply replied, noting that he was clearly trying to change the topic. Allura switched her attention to the nearest bookshelf, scanning the titles as she softly touched the spines.

“I see.”

Allura bit her lower lip slightly and stopped her inspection, hand casually taking out a random book and flipping through the pages with no particular interest. She had the feeling this could be another of those few chances she got to smooth out the edges of their present situation,  getting them to that point of camaraderie she was aiming for. Just like the garden conversation had been, a mere movement ago.

“Would you mind giving me a recommendation?” she inquired,  “I remember you being quite the book lover. You used to talk about your favorite works with me frequently.” And then she added,  “Regretfully, I can’t remember the names of any of those.”

That was a blatant lie. She knew every favorite of his, she had never been able to forget even the smallest details of their conversations.

“What a pity, indeed.”  Lotor scoffed, “Nevertheless, I can’t blame you. It’s been a long time since that happened.”

“Yes, more than a couple deca-phebes I believe.” Allura closed the book and rearranged it in its place “But I do trust your good preferences. If you could do me the favor, I'd be delighted.”

Lotor stared at her like he wanted to read her thoughts, untangle whatever plot he thought she was fabricating.

“If you insist, I shall provide you with some books you might enjoy,” he relented, turning to the shelf. “You have a deep interest in culture if I recall correctly. So, do tell, can you read Xarudian? I know this really interesting essay on how their unconventional celebrations became the pivot of the planet's tourism.”

Now _that_ was a direct hit to her pride and she couldn't help but frown. Lotor was perfectly aware of how she had never been able to properly learn more than a couple of languages, mostly the ones from the planets closer to Altea. He had had thousands of deca-phebes to travel and study. She had told him once how jealous she felt of that.

“Unfortunately I can't.” Her tone was frigid.

“Oh well,” Lotor shrugged, the tiniest of smirks curling his lips as he turned around and selected a book. “That’s not a problem. We have a perfectly well-translated copy here.”

“Do we? That's just marvelous.” Allura knew she wasn't going down without a fight. If Lotor wanted it to be this way, well she wasn't going to deny him. “But maybe something more musically related? Since we were on the topic just a couple of ticks ago…”  she paused, took a finger to her lower lip and gently trapped it a couple of times looking directly at him. “Maybe  about traditional Altean lullabies?”

Allura watched as Lotor froze and straighten his back. She resisted the urge to show her satisfaction. Once again she had proved she could get under his skin.

“I believe you must know everything about it, Princess.” Lotor deadpanned “You were born and raised on Altea, I doubt I could offer you anything interesting about that topic in particular.”

“Oh, but One can’t possibly know _everything_ about a subject, wouldn’t you agree? I see you’re quite knowledgeable. I’m sure you’ll be able to help me” mused Allura, head slightly tilted to the side. “It’d be great if you could show me the book from where you learned that one song you were humming before. I recognized it instantly. My mother used to sing that exact same one to me when I was a mere baby. It brought so many memories...”

If Allura closed her eyes, she was sure she’d be able to recall the same memories from when she first got to the library. Spring wind carrying the scent of thousands of flowers through an opened window, the relaxing motion of  Allura’s favorite silver brush going down her hair, only to be at the top of her head once again a couple of ticks later, the gentle touch of her mother and her voice as soft as her caresses as she sang her favorite lullaby and brushed away all her pains and worries.

_Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so. 'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so._

“You’re assuming incorrectly.” Lotor interrupted Allura’s internal childhood recollection, and she abruptly raised her head to find his eyes again. She had almost forgotten where she was standing at the moment. “I did not learn that from a book.”

“You didn’t? Where, then?”

If Allura was still trying to completely let go of the comforting yet sad memories of her past, Lotor’s next words brought her abruptly to the present, chilly and sudden like she had been thrown into an ice-cold river.

“...I learned from the Altean colonies.”

Silence fell for a couple of ticks.

Of course, the colonies.

Anger and betrayal fired up her very core. Those lost Alteans, those poor souls taken in such horrific ways by some failure in some experiments taken too far. Experiments that the man in front of her had not only encouraged, but he himself began. Nevertheless, she would try to keep her calm. It was the only way she could try and get some explanations out of him.

“That’s so interesting!” Allura knew her obviously fake sugar-coated reply would not fool anyone, least of all Lotor.

“I lived there, Allura. I constantly spoke with the residents and they enjoyed singing as they worked. They kindly taught me some of their favorites.”

“So they showed you their culture and then you murdered them?”

Allura’s accusation was as sharp as a harsh winter, as merciless as a snowstorm that destroys everything in its course.

Lotor was trying hard to keep himself together, to not let himself unfold. He was almost unnoticeably trembling, both fists clenched tightly on each side of his body.

“I _did not_ murder Alteans in cold blood. You _must_ know that by now.”

Allura’s powers granted her the privilege of seeing the fate of every Altean alive. Including the ones left on the undiscovered colony. She had seen their past, heard Lotor speak on their memories.

But those Alteans had minds and feelings of their own and knowing their experiences didn’t provide her with the key needed to unlock the reasoning behind the Galra Emperor’s thinking, the principles behind his actions were still beyond her reach.

Allura had to know.

She needed to close that chapter of her life.

She wanted to forgive him, but she couldn’t knowing so little.

“Yet you still experimented on them! Even after more than one perished or suffered from overexposure!” Her voice unwillingly broke at the end, but she knew she was not going to cry. “They saw you as their savior!”

“Because I was their savior!”

“Then how could you do that to them?”

“You can’t lecture me about morals, oh-so-mighty princess Allura,” his voice dripped with malice. “It was a war and we were losing. Someone had to do something to stop it, to stop the Galra before they destroyed the entire Universe.”

Lotor began pacing the room, adding hand gestures as he spoke.

“And guess what, your highness? Not all of us had a team of humans at our beg and call and the mightiest weapon ever created at our disposal,” he flung the jab over his shoulder, and it hit her as hard as if he physically  threw a book at her. “Sacrifices had to be made for the sake of billions. The Alteans I recruited knew that they knew they might perish. I explained the risks, every time someone new was recruited. Yet they understood the bigger picture and worked alongside me for the sake of peace. Someone had to make those decisions before it was too late! Before every living being succumbed! Don’t you understand?”

“And you felt you deserved to be the one moving the pawns, telling yourself it was for the greater good,” Allura retaliated after taking a deep breath to try and calm herself down. “Like you had no other option but see them die.”

“How dare you accuse me of such a thing when _you_ sentenced me to death?”

Allura froze.

She could feel her heart breaking all over again, the guilt of his death was quickly filling her up and clouding her thoughts. She needed to tell him, to explain.

“It was not a death sentence. It _wasn’t_!” Allura struggled to get the words out, to organize her confusing thoughts to form a coherent sentence and her desperation was clear in her next words, “I thought you had killed Alteans… I thought you had killed _my people_.”

“ _Our_ people!” Lotor shouted, finally at his wits end. “You seem to forget I am as Altean as I am Galra!”

Allura swallowed drily, feeling the hot tears begin to form behind her eyes. Lotor continued.

“And even if I wasn’t, even if I was full Galra, I deserved a fair trial. I deserved a chance to explain, isn’t that common law in the Universe, oh your diplomatic highness? That no one should be declared guilty without a trial?”

“I… “ Allura paused, the heaviness of Lotor’s statement setting into her bones.. She, who had been raised up on the rules and regulations of peace and well-being for the universe, was now facing one of her biggest -if not the biggest- diplomatic mistake. Something she would have scowled at and criticized anyone else doing. She tried to explain once again. “We didn’t want to leave you there! I _swear_! We were going back to get you, but we ran out of time!”

“Is that’s what you’ve been telling yourself so you can sleep at night? That you ran out of _time_?” Lotor was clearly not buying any of it.

“It’s the truth.”

“Stop fooling yourself, Allura. You know as well as I do that you only left me there because it was me,” he paused, adding in a softer voice. “Because I am Galra.”

Allura had had enough.

“No, that’s not it! And I will not explain myself again, Lotor. I didn’t plan on leaving you to die. And that’s it. Take it or leave it.”  

Allura was not going to let herself be pushed around anymore. She would stand her ground and defend her point. She had made a mistake, one so big and ugly it had marked them both for the rest of their life, a wound that had become infected and would not close in due time like a regular broken heart would. It had been indeed foolish to think she could ever make him understand, to try and seal up their hearts with nothing but eternity and amiable words.

“Say what you want” he retorted, taking a deep breath. Allura saw his scowl slowly disappear. “But we both know that if I had been any of your precious paladins, any of your dear friends you wouldn’t have left me. You would have done everything in your power to get me out of there, even at your life’s expense. You wouldn’t have run out of time, not for any of them. But it was me, so you left without looking back.”

His words cut deep inside Allura. And she was afraid to face them. Afraid to look deep inside herself and find out if they were true.

Lotor looked exhausted and defeated. But there was a distant and frigid calmness around him that Allura couldn’t quite place.

Once upon a time, his heart had been a beaming fire of passion, a fire that burned so hot it had been able to warm and comfort her in a way no one had ever done before. The fire he had brought to her life had been a light to help her find her own way, a place to rest when she got too tired. She had been happy.

That fire was gone now, Allura realized. She wondered if death had been the one to take it away, to cruelly extinguish it.  Or had that been her fault as well?

She thought back to Lance and the sadness he faced on Earth after her passing.

Did all she do was dim the light of those who were foolish enough to love her?

“I apologize, I wasn’t any help with your reading quest.” Allura was taken aback by Lotor’s sudden change of topic. But she was exhausted and hurt. She wanted nothing but her quiet room and time to think, so she followed along.

“No worry, I’m sure I will find something by myself.” Allura turned around and closed her eyes. Her bed. She needed her bed. “But that might be another day, I should go back to my duties. So if you’ll excuse me.”

And gathering every speck of her well-used bravery, this time she made herself vanish.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotor: relaxing in the garden  
> Allura: is there too  
> Lotor: *gasp*  
> Allura: Let’s talk!  
> Lotor: Okay.  
> Lotor: On second thought … not okay. Bye. 
> 
> Lance: ò.ó  
> Veronica: :D  
> Lance: -_-  
> Veronica: :DDDD  
> Lance: Wait, WHAT?  
> Veronica: Byeeeeee.
> 
> Allura: Ugh, Lotor is so busy with his job.  
> Allura: What even IS my job?  
> Allura: remembers she’s meddling with Klance  
> Allura: >:D 
> 
> Shiro: Here you go, don’t fight.  
> Klance: fight (kinda, they also flirt I guess)  
> Allura: does the magic bed thing  
> Lance: GHOSTS O_O  
> Keith: ô.o  
> Keith: Okay, I guess. 
> 
> Lotor: chills and sings in the library  
> Allura: Ohohoho, hello.  
> Lotor: Ugh.  
> Allura: So, let’s talk about how you killed those Alteans.  
> Lotor: ò.ó  
> Allura: ò.ó  
> Lotor: :(  
> Allura: :(  
> Lotor: I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.  
> Allura: I’m outta here. 
> 
> See you next time!!


	4. Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor and Allura face the aftermath of their fight. Now they know their baggage is too heavy for being casual with each other. 
> 
> Lance and Keith deal with the longstanding consequences of war. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attack. Please, be careful and skip it if necessary. The scene starts with "Making his way back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attack. Please, be careful and skip it if necessary. The scene starts with "Making his way back."
> 
> Hello everyone! We're back with yet another chapter. This one was really hard to write because it deals with a sensitive topic and we wanted to touch it respectfully. 
> 
> We're already working on chapter 5, so it should be ready soon. We want to add that our beta, Astro, is the best! <3
> 
> As always, your kudos, bookmarks and comments make our day. Thank you so much!

“Come on, Lance!” Pidge exclaimed, “Since when are  _ you _ a party pooper?” 

She pulled at his arms, trying to get him through the door of their shared room, while Lance tried his best to fight off her grabby hands. 

Keith watched with a silent smirk. They had only been here for a short while when Pidge and Hunk came to get them, and they’ve already been arguing with Lance for several minutes.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t wanna be that guy, but to be honest, I still remember how you dragged us out of the Garrison last time,” Hunk added with a nod, “So, you know, basically this whole team bonding nonsense was your idea in the first place.”

“Last time?!” Lance shrieked, shaking off Pidge’s hands, “Last time was years ago, we were teenagers! Also, I didn’t know that we would suddenly get sucked into a life-changing adventure piloting sentient lion robots. I just wanted to have a fun night!”

Keith raised his brow. He always found it curious that Lance had sneaked out that night, convincing Pidge and Hunk to come along, and then those three suddenly showed up when he tried to rescue Shiro. It always seemed like a really uncanny coincidence, but maybe it was destiny.  

Regardless, Lance’s defense tonight seemed a little shallow.

“So you don’t want to have a fun night?” Pidge asked skeptically, “The adventure will start anyway, so don’t be lame. Let’s sit together on the roof and talk!”

Lance frowned in response.

“Yeah, even Keith is coming and he’s much more of a party pooper. You’ve got no excuse, Lance,” Hunk confirmed and started shoving Lance towards the door.

Keith frowned too, “What do you mean? When have I ever skipped a party?”

They blinked at him, incredulously.

“Remember Clear Day?” Hunk pulled his face in a deep comedic frown, “You looked like  _ this _ almost the entire time.”

“Yeah, because the ride sucked and the overall situation was pretty tense!” he fought and crossed his arms.

“You also missed most fun activities, like Monsters and Mana or the Voltron Coalition Shows,” Pidge added, “Even when we visited the Space Mall you managed to get into a fight."

“Well, I wasn’t missing those events on purpose,” Keith’s frown deepened, hastily adding, ”And the knife merchant tried to steal  _ my _ dagger!”

Something always seemed to come up and remind him of the time he spent away from the team. To remind him so bitterly about the part of his life felt especially cruel when he already felt alone and lost again. Back then, Shiro had returned but wasn’t the same as before and Lance had thought about stepping aside as pilot, even though Red,  _ his Red _ , had chosen him to be the second in command.  _ His _ second in command.

He had been caught somewhere in between, trying to be a leader and at the same time trying to make a change as a Blade agent. Yet he had failed on all ends. So he did the only thing that made sense at that time: Step aside, let Shiro lead the team again and allow Lance to stay where he belonged.

“Fine, let’s go. A drink or two on the roof actually sounds kinda nice now that I think about it,” Lance agreed and for a brief moment, his eyes met Keith's. He seemed soft and concerned like he wanted to say something else.

But in the next moment, Pidge grabbed his arms and Hunk shoved him out the door while cheering loudly, and Keith stood alone in the now empty room.

He smiled, shook his head and followed them outside.

 

* * *

 

“You guys really aren’t behind this?” Lance asked incredulously and was only met with amused stares and Keith’s skeptical look.

“No, and to be honest, I’m a little concerned,” Hunk crossed his arms and seemed pretty determined. “Beds moving on their own, merging together and being inseparable? Is this another ‘haunted AI’ situation? Because last time I was attacked by food and I do NOT want to experience something like that again. Ever.” 

“I don’t think there’s any food involved, don’t worry,” Keith answered and then looked at Lance, “I also don’t think there are any angry spirits involved.” 

Lance shot him a pout in response, “Keep thinking that, buddy. Just wait until your clothes get possessed by spirits that are mad at you for  denying their existence while dressing like a NASCAR wash out.”

“So... what then?” Pidge asked with a shit-eating grin. “You scary cats need an excuse to share a bed so you orchestrated an elaborate plan?”

Lance narrowed his eyes and Keith seemed to blush, but in the dark it was hard to tell. 

“Or maybe a world-famous tech genius decided to play a prank on us by making our beds magnetic and scare us to death, hmm?” 

“Ha, and why would I do  _ that _ ? What could possibly scare two former paladins of Voltron about two beds becoming one?” she took a sip of her drink. 

Lance gasped involuntarily and averted his gaze. He had practically heard the same statement before, like an hour ago, and he wasn’t in the mood to think it through again. He heard Keith clearing his throat and taking a sip from his can, effectively dropping the conversation too. 

“Are you even allowed to drink, Pidge?” Lance huffed in her direction, changing the topic as she opened a fizzing can herself. In the darkness, under the clear night sky, he couldn’t really tell what she held in her hands.

“Ugh, relax please,” she groaned in response, “This is coke, and also has anyone really kept track of our ages while we were away? We saved the universe, if anyone deserves a beer, it’s us.” 

“I didn’t take you for the beer type, to be honest,” Keith stated while he sipped from his beer can. 

“Well, maybe I’m not. I don’t know,” she admitted sulkily and pointedly took a loud sip of her soda.

“Yeah, because you’re still underage, haha. Just admit that you kept track of our ages the whole time, Pidge. I’ve looked through your notes the other day and-“

“HUNK! How many times do I need to tell you that you should NOT look through my stuff, like, ever?!”

“Guys, I don’t even know how old I am, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask. Not even my Mom knows our own age. Space is weird,” Keith chimed in, trying to break up their little argument. 

Very black paladin of him, Lance thought quietly with a smirk.

“Yeah, but I mean, you’re an alien. How does your age work anyways? How old do Galra even get? Is this like a dog years thing? Or a  _ reverse  _ dog year system?” Hunk seemed genuinely concerned about this though.

“I, uhm,” Keith responded audibly baffled after a few moments of silence, “I honestly don’t know. I guess I should ask my Mom.”

Lance couldn’t hold back anymore and an impressively light and at the same time wholehearted laughter bubbled from his chest, while several tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. 

The good kind of tears he hadn’t seen in quite a while. It felt like his lungs and eyes tried to break up some sort of crust that had built up without him even realizing. And the more he laughed and gasped for air and wiped little tears from his eyes, the lighter he felt.

Bit by bit the others started to chuckle and giggle along until they were just four teenagers again. Friends who had snuck out on a school night, sitting on the roof and talking nonsense, hiding from Iverson. As if there had never been the weight of the world, the fate of endless realities, on their shoulders. As if there had never been a war or a sacrifice. As if they’d done this before.

After a few minutes, the laughter ebbed away and Lance helplessly dropped on his back and stared into the night sky, a smile still on his face. Up there, billions of stars blinked peacefully in the distance and made it seem like the vast, dangerous universe they fought so hard to protect and restore was just a beautiful ornament for a nocturnal view from Earth. 

“Can you believe we’re going back out there tomorrow?” Lance sighed, his gaze up in the sea of stars.

He heard a quiet chuckle from Pidge, “We were  _ out there _ yesterday, Lance. Not everyone became a hermit like you did, you know.” There was no malice in her voice, yet somehow it still stung, so he stayed silent.

“Yeah, we’ve had our own space adventures since our time as paladins,” Hunk added with an audible fondness, “You guys wouldn’t believe what crazy stuff I’ve seen while being a diplomat cook on board of the Atlas. Shay, Romelle and I sure had our hands full last year.”

“Are you saying there are even worse stories than the few you shared in our chat?” Pidge asked incredulously. 

Lance was part of that group chat, obviously, but mostly he stayed a silent reader. Occasionally he’d post some cute pictures of Kaltenecker or the other farm animals, but other than that, he tried to stay off the grid.

“Oh, definitely!” he laughed. “One time, we had two Lachanxian chiefs as guests, because their planet was torn by a civil war between their tribes. Shiro wanted to intervene to get them into the peace coalition, so we did a little research and combined the dishes from each tribe to bring them together. But apparently serving the dinner already chopped and cooked was deeply insulting to them, and they started fighting over the table, throwing food and calling us names-“

“Wait, they found it insulting that you offered them prepared meals?” Keith asked. “I think I met those guys too.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I visited their planet with Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor a few months ago,” he explained. “We heard about the civil war and tried to help since we want to reform the Blade into a relief organization. But when they opened our packages and found canned food in there, they started screaming and throwing stuff at us.”

“Wow, that’s really ungrateful,” Pidge stated, “They need help and resources, but still refuse to take it because of some weird beliefs?”  

Hunk then went to explain something about their cultural views and how the food was valued in their society, and at some point, Lance tuned out. Still facing the distant stars and the emptiness above, his thoughts drifted off.

Flashing images of old adventures flickered through the back of his mind. Snippets of happier times, him flying in Blue and feeling her soft purring rumble inside his head. 

Glimpses of challenging times, when he switched into Red and felt so out of place for a while and the enemies and fights seemed to pile up to no end. 

And then, the overwhelming feeling of loss and piercing dread washed over him, as his eyes got lost in the darkness of space. Where he lost her forever. 

“I think I’m going to take a relaxing bath before we leave tomorrow,” he said, getting up to his feet and forcing a smile on his lips and a happy tone into his voice. 

Lance waved goodnight, reassuring them he was okay and mumbled something about his skincare routine when they complained before he slowly made his way inside and left them on the roof.

_ Yeah _ , he thought to himself, strolling through the dark and empty corridors of the Garrison _ , a warm bath surely would wash all the bad feelings away _ . 

* * *

  
  


The palace felt enormous, empty and like a maze, where she’d find something new around every single corner. 

But since her fight with Lotor in the library, Allura felt suffocated by the endless corridors and thousands of uncharted rooms. She could run into Lotor everywhere around here, and that was the last thing she wanted right now.

When their words got out of hand and old, unresolved feelings of guilt and something else had flared up so viciously, they had mutually decided to stay away from each other without even talking about it for clarification. Although the silence between them spoke for itself, and they hadn’t seen each other again once until now.

Of course, Allura knew this wasn’t exactly an ideal situation, especially after she suggested a co-worker-relationship in the first place. But right now she wasn’t ready to face these topics again.

Instead, Allura immersed herself into her ‘ _ work’  _ and lots of reading too, like before, even though the library was a bit of a danger zone for the time being. She tried to catch up on many topics she was interested in but never had had the time to learn about when she was alive, and she checked in on the lives of those still loving, whose voices rang clearly in her head and demanded her attention. And more than once she was surprised to find people praying to her. 

_ Oh please, universe, send me a sign _ , they spoke full of uncertainty and worries. They felt lost and helpless, desperately looking for clues on how to go on. Sometimes she sent them little signs and tried to show them a way forward, other times she decided they needed to make their own decisions. 

Playing a god may be a fantasy many have, but  _ being  _ a god made things much more difficult to decide. 

Allura wanted to help, but also had to refrain from doing too much. Keeping the delicate balance of the universe was a core essential part of her duty.

There hadn’t been any serious or dangerous cases yet, but as she grew more comfortable with her powers, Allura slowly became more involved with her celestial responsibilities.

Allura also checked on her beloved friends frequently, as they were about to start their mission. The time distortion between their realms was difficult to grasp or describe, especially since she could see the past and the future in unison, but somehow always managed to view them right in time to experience some heartwarming moments of their lives.

Of course, her friends didn’t know that. But seeing them getting on with their lives and coming together again to find the missing Alteans meant a lot to her, making her heart burst with emotion at the gesture. She knew that everything could work out fine, but destiny was a fickle thing – there was always change in the universe after all. That's why she kept watching over them, hoping they would have a safe journey.

And hoping that Lance would heal from his pain soon. 

Allura knew she couldn't undo the bruising she left on his heart, but that didn't mean she couldn't help heal it.

She would make sure to send the right signs to see that happen and to clear at least a part of the guilt she still felt off her shoulders, by bringing Lance closer to his well-deserved happiness.

Also, keeping herself busy was an excellent way to avoid Lotor.

 

* * *

 

Making his way back, Lance could feel  _ it _ slowly creeping all the way to the center of his bones and tried his best to stop the shivering that wanted to take over his body. He felt his heart starting to beat up to an unfamiliar rhythm, one he couldn’t blame on the exhaustion from the day. 

One lonely sweat drop made his way down from his temple to his chin before dropping to the floor. He could almost hear it splashing. He started walking faster. 

Once he made it to the door, he took the card from his pocket. His trembling hand dropped it and he cursed to himself as he picked it up and scanned in quickly.  The door swished open and he didn’t bother to check that it closed behind him before making a beeline the bathroom, throwing his card on top of the bed as he passed. 

Lance shoved the tub’s plug in and turned on the hot water. He stared at the stream surrounded by vapor, it’s constant flow working as an anchor to the deep breaths he was taking to try and calm himself, like the doctor his mother had made see instructions. 

_ One, two, three… Inhale…  _

_ One, two, three… Exhale.  _

His breath hitched more, his palpitations intensifying. Hot tears fell and suddenly he couldn’t  _ breathe _ . He couldn’t _ see _ . 

Everything went quiet except for the water running. 

Bile rose in Lance’s throat, making his raspy voice break the shallow silence.  He swallowed thickly to keep from dry heaving.

_ Dark, dark, dark. Everything was bleak... just like space.  _

_ Just like war.  _

_ Just like when she left.  _

“I… didn’t want to…” Lance cried, taking a hand to his chest and clenching on his shirt, as a meaningless attempt to stop the pain. “Allura… I’m sorry.”

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop it. 

This pain wasn’t going to go away, it couldn’t be washed away. It’d stay with him forever. Always behind every corner, haunting, waiting to strike at the perfect moment to destroy him. 

He hugged his legs to his chest, the trembling becoming more and more unbearable as the tears poured down.

* * *

 

The unnatural, lifeless grey of Jarre still made his stomach turn and his mind bitter. 

Nothing but emptiness and sand, seeping into every crack and thought, breaking down even the strongest souls until only crumbled pieces and agony remained.

Lotor usually tried to avoid coming here too often, as it was depressing here and filled with people he  _ never  _ wanted to see again. But when his duties really demanded his attendance, he just appeared where he had to be, collected the souls that had been cleansed by the desert and transferred them to Pollux. 

No marveling at the nothingness, no walks through the barren land. No reliving of the memories of this place that still felt fresh and raw in his mind.

Right now, it seemed to be the only safe place for him. The only place  _ she _ couldn’t reach. The oh so mighty Goddess of Fate, who had already decided over his destiny when they were still alive.

Lotor walked the sands of Jarre with Kova by his side, trying to ignore the tortured souls around him while simultaneously not thinking about the current situation. Unfortunately, these tasks seemed too much for him, and he felt unpleasant shivers going down his spine because of all the pain around him as he pondered on the recent conversation he had with Allura.

How could she be so ignorant? How could she possibly think he would have wanted to murder his own people with no higher goal in mind? Did she really not realize, even after his death, that all he had ever tried was to protect them from the impending doom? Lotor took a sharp breath and clenched his fists.

She hadn’t listened to him and had left him to die. 

She had sent him straight into Jarre.

When he had loved her so much.

A soft purr pulled him from his bitter thoughts, and he looked down to see Kova by his feet. He kneeled down to pet him on the head and ruffle his fur. The cat was a nifty beast and seemed to understand him on a very deep level. He always had.

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t keep holding on to those feelings,” he sighed, and the cat silently stared back at him in what seemed to be an approving way, “But it’s quite daunting, now that she’s present again and could be just around the corner, wherever I go.”

Kova looked at him for a long moment, then meowed. 

Lotor couldn't help but feel mocked. 

Here he was, in the middle of a realm where the dead redeemed for their wrong-doings and where he was the god in charge, talking to his cat about his broken heart and actually expecting an answer. This whole situation surely was less than ideal.

But then a thought occurred to him. 

Sure, it had been easier to cope with everything that had to do with Allura when she was far and out of his mind. When there was still the barrier of ‘never seeing her again’ and the dormant feelings of betrayal and anger. It was easy to keep the feelings at bay that way because he never had to sort them out. 

But now that the situation had changed and she was here again, maybe he would also have to change the way he treated this problem by actually treating it. Otherwise, she’d always make all his emotions flare up again, over and over. She was like tinder to the pile of blistering ashes that was his heart.

He thought about his old ideas, his many schemes and intrigues, all the extensive plans he had contrived and all the sacrifices he made to fool his parents, build the colonies and keep them a secret after he had to witness the destruction of Ventar’s home and her whole race. He thought back to the deep desperation he had faced so many times and all the lives he had felt responsible for. So many had paid the price for his efforts, the price for his will to make the universe a better place.

And he also thought about Allura’s accusing words, which felt like knives stabbed into his heart, time and time again.

Maybe it was time to take the knife out, instead of letting it get twisted even further. Maybe he should try to explain his intentions, to clear up what he thought of as misconceptions. Maybe it would finally extinguish the embers and bring a soothing cold back into his life.

But what would that mean for him? 

He would have to reveal everything to her, lay open his deepest feelings and most intimate thoughts. All his plans and schemes, but also all his emotions, being out in the open for her to see and dissect. To be vulnerable and without any facade to protect his heart against… well, her. 

Lotor was dead and the war was over, maybe there really wasn’t a reason to hold on to his secrets any longer. Nothing left he had to protect, other than his own emotional turmoil. And his pride. 

Ripping out the knife she kept twisting, meant letting go of all that and he would finally be cleansed of his past and his lingering feelings. It sounded like a simple task: Just telling her everything and then  _ move on _ . 

But he knew that it wouldn’t be that easy. 

He had avoided thinking about her, but with every bit of news he gathered from different souls entering and leaving Jarre, he had been painfully reminded of her presence and influence in the mortal world. Including her decisions, after he was gone, not all of which were easy to stomach. His heart clenched painfully and he closed his eyes for a moment.  

_ Moving on from Allura _ . The last Princess of Altea, the Savior of the Universe, the Goddess of Fate. 

The love of his life. 

It would be hard, but it was for the best. Especially because she had already moved on herself. If they really wanted to reach equal grounds again, he had to catch up to her by leaving their past behind.

With a deep breath, he opened his eyes to face the grey desert once more. Kova blinked at him with sharp eyes and rubbed against his leg affectionately. He softly ran his fingers through his fur and the calm purring almost made it seem like the cat approved of his idea and encouraged him to solve this mess. 

A weak, sad smile set itself onto Lotor’s lips.

Letting go of Allura would be his most difficult plan yet. 

* * *

  
  
Keith excused himself from the Paladins reunion soon after Lance left. He was feeling tired and sleepy and he figured he could enjoy some time by himself as Lance took his bath  —  God knew those took a long, long time. 

They had made fun of Keith for leaving so soon, joked about him leaving to see his  _ crush _ , but his energy was too low to care so he just flipped them off as he went, quickly making his descent down the stairs. 

“Not in front of the children!” Keith heard Hunk snicker, followed by a soft “ _ Ow _ , Pidge, that  _ hurts!” _

Keith laughed and continued going down, soon unable to hear what was going on on the rooftop. He was alone with his thoughts and the soft sound of his steps, pulling his mind back to the fact that he’d have to sleep with Lance that night. 

_ Stop it, you betrayer.  _ He told himself and tried to think of something else, like the fact he was soon going to be in a mission with all the Paladins. Or  _ almost _ all the Paladins. 

Being in the briefing rooms and not seeing Allura standing next to Shiro felt like a missing piece. He even missed hearing Allura's exasperated tone of “ _ paladins _ ” from the holo-call. Keith knew his relationship with Allura would sometimes be turbulent, but that didn't mean he didn't miss her as much as everyone else.

When he made it to his hall, he noticed the door to their bedroom was suspiciously open.

He slowed down his steps and drew out his gun, taking his back to the wall and sliding along it. When he reached the door, he peeked inside. Nothing out of order, but he could hear the water running from the bathroom. The door was also left open, and he frowned. For all his eccentricities, Lance wasn't the kind of guy to just leave doors ajar.

“Lance! Why did you leave both doors open?” Keith called, pulling his weapon back to its holster and deciding to tease his friend by quickly getting a glimpse of him in the tub, probably surrounded by fluffy bubbles. It wasn’t for his own satisfaction, of course, it  _ wasn't _ , he had seen Lance shirtless tons of times. War doesn’t care for privacy, after all. 

When he got no reply, Keith called Lance’s name once again. Maybe he was listening to music? That’s when he noticed it, the soft sobbing. Keith rushed to the bathroom, his pulse getting faster in worry. 

As soon as he got to the door, he froze. 

Lance was curled up in a tiny ball, surrounded by a pool of water overflowing from the tub. He was crying and shaking badly, seemingly unaware of his presence. 

Keith took a breath and calmed himself. He needed to figure out what was going on if he wanted to help Lance. He needed to help him. He approached Lance slowly, unsure of what to do or how to act. He had never seen his partner like this. So  _ broken. _

First, he turned off the water and took off the plug to empty the tub. Then he got closer to Lance.

“Lance? Hey, sharpshooter?” Keith kneeled down in front of Lance, without minding how his pants were getting soaked. His voice was soft as a feather, careful not to set Lance into a panic. He didn’t touch him. “Lance? Can you hear me?” 

Lance raised his head and his gaze met Keith’s but his eyes were glazed over, lost in something that wasn’t in the room. 

Keith raised a hand and carefully cupped Lance’s cheek. The touch seemed to bring Lance back and his eyes focused, Keith immediately retrieved his hand.

“Keith?” Lance asked shakily and he looked around to the bathroom in a daze. 

“Yeah, I’m here, buddy.” 

As the reality of the situation started getting to Lance, new tears started forming in the back of his eyes. Keith could see them glistening. 

“Oh no, oh no, no, no.” Lance shook his head and shamefully hide his face with his hands. He was starting to tremble again “I can’t believe it happened, it had been phoebes… I thought I was over it, I thought I was  _ fine _ .” 

“Lance, what are you talking about?” Keith protectively took Lance by the shoulder. “Is this not the first time something like this happened?”

Lance didn’t seem to hear the question because he kept going. 

“I’m so sorry. I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I can go.” Lance mumbled, his body still in a tight ball, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. “I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t give up any one of you. It’d  _ kill me. _ ”

Keith was pretty sure he knew what Lance was talking about and he felt his own eyes getting hot and teary, his chest felt tight and a knot forming in his throat. He stared at Lance, still unsure of what to do, how to fight and keep away the shadow wolves that were eating Lance alive from the inside out. 

Keith’s life had not been a summer walk through the park. His childhood had made him grow-up too soon; he had learned to fend for himself and how to close himself up from feelings. He had learned to value logic and composure more than anything else and keeping himself from forming meaningful relationships was just another weapon in his arsenal to keep himself from being hurt. 

What his younger-self hadn’t known is the fact that sometimes, you don’t need to get hurt to be in pain. That getting close to other people means that your own feelings bond with the others. And so, when the other is in pain, it might as well be you the one that got hurt in the first place.

When you love, you lose control in more ways that he could have ever imagine, logic a long-forgotten concept. And you have a constant, unstoppable wave of feelings that entangle with one another, unrecognizable from each other. Concern, fear, pain,  _ powerlessness. _

After a few moments of silence, at least Lance wasn’t shaking anymore.

“Lance? Lance, please look at me,” Keith urged softly. It seemed to work, because two puffy blue eyes met his once again. Questioning. “It’s going to be alright. Just...just breathe with me, okay? I’ll keep you grounded.” 

Lance stared for a moment, then silently nodded. Keith felt his ears getting warmer and his hands were getting damp from sweat. His pulse had not gone back to normal. 

Keith nervously cleared his throat. 

“Ok..alright...so, breathe in.” 

Lance gave him a look, but Keith continued to take deep breaths and he went along with it. And they just sat there on the bathroom floor, doing nothing but breathing together for as long as it took.

“Breath in...and out again, in...and out again,” he still whispered after what surely had been several minutes. “You’re doing great.”

And then Lance suddenly smiled, seemingly a lot calmer now. It was barely noticeable, but Keith considered himself a well-versed individual when it came to Lance’s facial expressions. 

“This is your first time dealing with something like this, isn’t it Mullet?” 

Keith sighed in relief, “If you’re teasing me, that must mean you’re feeling better.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

_Oh,_ _thank goodness._

Lance sounded uncertain and awkward himself and he tried smiling again, yet this time it didn’t reach his eyes. He started fidgeting with his fingers and bit his lower lip. 

“I’m sorry for..uh... _ that _ .” 

“You don’t have to apologize, Lance.” Keith shook his head and flashed what he hoped was a comforting smile. “How about you getting that bath you wanted to? I’ll go to the kitchen and get some food. You must be starving.” 

Keith had so many questions for his friend, nevertheless, he figured what Lance needed at the moment was some time to put himself back together as well as some normality. He still looked skittish and not like himself, so pushing him to talk could potentially trigger him again. 

Lance narrowed his eyes, suspiciously. He seemed to be deciding something, because he furrowed his brows, concentrating. 

“Actually…” Keith saw as Lance’s face got a little red and he hesitated, looking away from him. Then he confessed, “I don’t want to be alone right now.” 

Keith blinked a few times and then nodded. 

“Then let’s change into dry clothes and we can go to the kitchen together.” Keith stood up and offered his hand to Lance. “I bet I can eat more sugar cookies than you can in one dobosh.”

Keith would have plenty of time to ask his questions later. 

Lance took his hand, pushed himself up and smirked at Keith. 

“You wish, samurai.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND, OF COURSE, OUR BLOOPERS:
> 
> Pidge: Don’t be lame  
> Lance: But I don’t wanna  
> Pidge: You’re lame too  
> Keith: thinks about every time he missed a party because of duty  
> Keith: :(   
> Lance: I’LL GO!   
> Keith: :) 
> 
> Lance: I bet you did the bed thing  
> Pigde: Nope  
> Hunk: Nope  
> Keith: But …   
> Pidge: Sooooo you gonna share the bed, or what?   
> Lance and Keith: blush in silence
> 
> Everyone: talks about their adventurous lives  
> Lance: I’m outta here
> 
> Allura: relaxing in Pollux  
> People: praying to the universe  
> Allura: *gasp*  
> Allura: I’m the Queen of the Universe, fair enough.
> 
> Lance: :(   
> Lance: :(((
> 
> Lotor: So, Kova, what should I do about Allura?   
> Kova: meow   
> Lotor: Valid. 
> 
> Keith: THERE’S SOMEONE IN OUR ROOM  
> Lance: sobbing  
> Keith: :O   
> Lance: :((   
> Keith: Breath!   
> Lance: :(  
> Keith: Breathe more!   
> Lance: :|   
> Keith: Food?   
> Lance: :)


	5. One foot in front of the other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Allura and Lotor are talking things out in the afterlife, the paladins are getting ready for take-off... and are surprised in different ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! This time, the chapter is a bit longer ... but there's just so much stuff to deal with :')
> 
> We really appreciate your interest in the fic and the feedback you leave us! Thx :)  
> Also a big thanks to our beta Astro, who is very patient and kind <3

 Allura threw herself into her mattress, pressed her pillow to her face and muffled a groan. While walking to the library, she had spotted Lotor, and instantly spun  around and ran the other way before he could see her.

Like a child running from her parents after doing some mischief.

Keeping herself busy had worked well for a few quintants, but now Allura was frustrated with herself and the situation. She felt lonely and trapped, only living through other’s lives and fates. She was a prisoner of her own making and felt she was going insane.

This absolutely had to end, and Allura knew exactly what she had to do.

She swallowed her pride, stood up, walked to her desk and picked up her tablet. Only one name featured in her contact list and she pressed it and wrote a short, to-the-point message:

_Lotor. We need to talk about what happened. Soon._

Allura let out a breath and pressed ‘send’ with a trembling finger. Now, the only thing left to do was to wait and she stared at the blank screen.

Thankfully, Allura didn’t have to wait long. A couple of doboshes later, she heard the cheerful _ting_ announcing a new message. She swallowed the knot in her throat and looked down to the answer:

_Of course, Princess. Shall we arrange a meeting in the main dining room, the one with views to the palace’s gardens? Tomorrow, at noon?_

Allura let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and typed her agreement.  

_Yes. That’s fitting enough. I will see you tomorrow. then._

Then, after a little bit of hesitation, she sent another one.

_Have a good night, Lotor._

A couple of ticks later, Allura got a reply and she felt her heart skip a beat.

_You too, Princess._

 

* * *

 

Keith wakes up to a warm ray of light creeping through the window directly onto his face, reflecting the beautiful sunrise of the desert. He didn’t fully realize where he was, but the comfortable bed and the warmth around him felt nice and cozy. His shoulders felt sore with sleep, and he carefully stretched his arms, arching his back with a wide yawn.

He froze in place when his hand slapped against something warm.

What the-

He held his breath and turned around, slowly opening his eyes. At first, the sunlight was too much for them to function, but slowly he managed to make sense of the weird object he just had encountered.

It was in fact not an object, but Lance.

Lance McClain. Right next to him. In bed.  

Though Keith realized pretty quickly where he was and why Lance was also here, he still couldn’t fight off the blush rising on his cheeks. He might have teased him for his hesitation yesterday, but now the whole arrangement of their mysterious, connected beds caught him off guard. Truth be told, he had a hard time fighting the longing of waking up like this every day for the rest of his life…

Lance sleeping was a tranquil sight. His skin glowed in the morning light, his hair wildly disheveled, and his mouth was a tiny bit open and made absurdly endearing snoring sounds. It melted through him. He forced himself to take a deep breath and avert his gaze before his heart would implode for real.

The peaceful morning mood felt incredible, and he tried to enjoy it while it still lasted. Staying right where he was, closed his eyes and took everything in. The shimmer of light on his face, the heat radiating off Lance, the silence-

 

_BEEP – BEEP – BEEP_

 

“Wha-”, with an abrupt twitch, Lance sat right up in bed, and Keith’s eyes fluttered open again. Lance grabbed something from the nightstand next to the bed and groaned in frustration.

“Shiro sent us a reminder. We’re due to take off in two hours”, he explained, letting himself fall into bed again. “Why is he so cruel? My heart was about to come out of my chest.”

“Well, good morning, I guess.”

Lance turned to him, blinking slowly at Keith, and those familiar emotions from before bubbled back to the surface.

Then, he lit up in a goofy grin.

“Well good morning to you too,” he cooed, reaching over to pitch Keith’s cheeks between his hands, forcing Keith to slap his hands aware, which then turned into a small play fighting between them that ended when Keith twists Lance’s wrist. It wasn’t enough to hurt the other boy, but it was enough to make him squirm.

“Okay, okay, mercy! You can’t break my hands, Keith, I won’t be able to shoot without fingers!” he whined and Keith released his hold and watched as Lance pulled his hands back, cradling them as if he actually did any damage. The pout was fake, but Keith still had to bite his bottom lip to stop himself from giving into the strong desire he had to lean over and kiss it away.

After the short exchange, they lazed in bed for a while, not saying anything else. The silence wasn’t the same as before, Keith noticed, but it still was pleasant. Just a few minutes to breathe and relax before they left Earth again.

“Uhm, by the way,” Lance said, making him turn his head towards him. “Thanks for yesterday.”.

“Sure, don’t worry about it. Are you feeling better today?”

“Yeah,” Lance flashed a weak smile and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. He didn’t say anything for a minute or so and Keith wondered if he should get up and start their day. Maybe Lance didn’t want to talk about it still.

“You know, it was far worse a few months ago,” he then added, seemingly lost in thought. Keith stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt him if he felt ready to talk about it. “After the fight against Honerva ended and we … _she_ saved the universe, I felt nothing but guilt and emptiness. At first, it was just nightmares and a general glumness, but then the panic attacks started. And of course, I didn’t tell anyone for a while. I would just go find a place to hide whenever they came.”

Keith wanted to complain, to turn around and ask Lance why would he hide something like that. Why would he not open up to someone about what was going on?

But that would be truly selfish, wouldn’t it?

Keith hadn’t been named the lone wolf of the group for nothing. He knew perfectly well why people hid behind a mask, why they built a wall to keep everyone away.

And so, he stayed quiet and Lance sighed.

“Until one day, I was out in a mall with my siblings and their children. We came by a shop that sold this weird merchandise of us,” Lance motioned between them, singaling the entire team. “And when I saw Allura there, behind the display window, it all sort of came crashing down on me.”

Keith couldn’t help but feel awful for never noticing any of this. His heart sank at the mental picture of Lance looking at himself in a store window and seeing her ghost.

“My mom made me see a doctor, who diagnosed PTSD,” Lance continued. “Since then the therapy has been helping me a lot, but I guess yesterday the whole situation of going out there again was just … overwhelming.”

“I see,” Keith nodded, struggling for words after such a heavy revelation. He didn’t want to scare Lance away, to close himself off from him again. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry I haven’t been any help with everything you had to face.”

Lance looked at him with an understanding expression, “It’s okay. To be honest, I didn’t exactly want everyone to know. And it’s mostly under control now, anyway.”

Keith nodded again, trying to process all the information he just received, but then his brows furrowed as a sudden thought occurred to him.

“So, are you gonna be alright on this mission? Are you sure you’re up for it? Because I’m certain that no one would blame you if you wanted to stay on Earth, even though we’d all love if you joined.”

Lance just stared at him in surprise for a few seconds, before he huffed and shook his head.

“I think it’ll be alright. I promise I have gotten better. And if things get too much, I can always video call my therapist, my mom said she’ll help me if that’s the case”, he said with a smile. “Besides, are you really expecting me to back down now after we already started our ‘ _best of five_ ’ sugar cookie eating competition? No way, Samurai!”

And with that, he jumped up, stretched and excused himself to take a shower, like any other day.

Keith sat in bed, engulfed by the morning sun. His heart felt heavy after hearing about Lance’s suffering, but he also felt a new sense of determination and a strange feeling of closeness.

He had Lance’s back no matter what.

 

* * *

 

 Allura decided to walk instead of just appearing in the main dining room. It gave her a couple of extra doboshes to organize her thoughts and go over the main topics she wanted to discuss.

When Allura arrived to the main doors, she took a deep breath and let it out. She could do this.

And she pushed the doors open.

Lotor was already there, waiting for her. Allura had a brief sense of deja-vú from the first time they had talked in this same room, back when she had only arrived to Pollux.

Allura took a seat in front of the other side of the table and bowed her head respectfully, like they were royalty about to have a diplomatic meeting instead of a pair of exlovers trying to make peace between them.

As Allura glanced at Lotor she wondered if this had been a good idea after all. Sitting down to talk out their differences hadn’t worked that well last time they had tried it and back then they hadn’t even discussed anything as serious as they were planning to do this time. Giving Lotor a peace offering after the last time they talked hadn’t been the easiest of tasks but she had somehow managed. It was the best shot she got at the moment.

Neither said a word.

Allura hesitated on where start. They had so many things to discuss, so many unanswered questions that begged for her attention. She chose what she felt was the most pressing matter, the argument that was the start to their end.

The Altean Colony.

She gulped and adjusted on her seat.

“I apologize for hinting that you are not altean enough, during our fight. It was wrong of me.” Allura started, eyes downcast and focused on her tightly joined hands on top of the table. Someone had to break the uncomfortable, thick silence that had settled between them. “I understand that you didn’t murder our own race in cold blood. But still, your method was deeply flawed. You should have stopped after realizing so many deaths were taking place.”

Lotor didn’t say anything.

“Lotor, please. You must meet me halfway. We _need_ to talk about it,” she pleaded, biting her lower lip and her gaze met his for a moment. “If we don’t, we’ll keep going on about this for eternity.”

“I know.”

“Is that what you want? Is that one of Jarre’s punishments? To be in neverending argument?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why are you not replying to me?”

Lotor sighed.

“I am trying to figure out how to say what I want without us ending up in a fight again. What needs to be said are not pleasant words.”

“Just say what you need to say and I promise to do my best to not be angry,” assured Allura, looking straight into his eyes. As she had told him, they truly needed to settle this war between them so they got at least a certain degree of peace in the castle. She had been carrying the same baggage since her last months alive; it was time to let go.

It was time to get rid of the heaviness on her chest that wouldn’t allow her to breathe.

“As you wish, Princess Allura.” Lotor straightened his back and took a deep breath before starting. “You keep assessing how right or wrong my decisions were. Still, I keep asking myself, who are you to judge me?”

Allura had to stop herself from letting out a huff. Lotor kept going.

“I don’t mean to offend you, your Highness, but you’re only the goddess of fate. What I did when I was alive is no longer any of your concern. Only the White Lion had the power to judge and punish my actions from when I was alive,” he paused, looking down at his hands. “And believe me, he did.”

“What do you mean-”

“Although, let’s say you have the right to punish me for my actions,” he harshly interrupted her, raising to look at her, his expression and tone as if she hadn’t said anything at all.

Allura glared at him from the other side of the table. She had promised to stay calm, but she should have known it was going to be a very difficult task, virtually impossible. Staying calm was always difficult when it came to the man in front of her.

“Because you were the only living regent of the people I _saved_ ,” he clearly emphasized the last word, “Let’s say, hypothetically, you have the authority to criticize my plan of action.”

“If that makes you happy,” Allura interrupted Lotor, keeping a patient voice and demeanor as she casually moved her hands from the table to her lap, gently stroking the skirt of her pale blue dress to get rid of inexistent wrinkles. “Therefore, I ask again. Why did you continue with these experiments knowing the outcome - that more Alteans were going to die?”

“I continued because there was no other option,” Lotor admitted and sounded just a bit as exasperated as she felt. Good. “As more planets were destroyed in the name of the Galra, more races were exterminated so Zarkon could drain every last vile of Quintessence they could offer. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep the colony secret forever, the witch would find them - _us-_  eventually. So, I had to try and stop them.”

“By the witch, do you mean Haggar?” Allura offered and Lotor nodded. “I remember once when we spoke, you were in deep denial that Haggar and Honerva were one and the same. I’m assuming now you know the truth?”

“A part of me always knew,” he admitted, looking away for a moment. “It was her genius as Honerva that made her cruelty as Haggar so dangerous. She knew the power of her own people.”

“That still is not an answer to my question, is it?” Allura remarked.

She saw a bird from the corner of her eye, taking flight and going who knows where. She felt jealous, she wished she could leave and enjoy the fresh evening breeze. Lotor’s response brought her gaze back to him.

“I continued because I couldn’t find another way. I was a speck of cosmic dust in comparison to the empire’s power. Zarkon despised me, a good portion of the Galra hated me too. I knew I’d never climb the ranks enough to even get a chance on influencing whatever twisted politics he had going on. And what about Haggar? She would see right through me, I’m sure of it,” Lotor paused to take a breath. “It’s difficult for me to explain now that everything is over, but working towards a future to find unlimited Quintessence without having to take any other lives was the only option I could see viable. It the only path that gave us the best chance of survival and avoiding my father’s wrath. I was not going to give up that chance because things were not going as placidly as first imagined.”

“You were faced with the ethical trolley problem,” she realized, turning to him painfully. “Sacrifice the few to save hundred, or let the events unfold as it and lose countless.”

He paused, allowing the understanding to settle in for Allura, gathering his thoughts. She wondered if he felt as unsure as she did on how to proceed.

“And now I ask you a question, princess,” he said finally. “What would you have done if you had been in my place?”

Allura took a moment to look at him and think about what he had said. She took those couple of ticks to _really_ look at him, the Lotor in front of her. Him, who had been the first and last love of her life. Him, who had hurt her and her people. Him, who now was allowing a ray of light into the darkness that was his neverending secrets.

She marveled on how his appearance was pretty much the same as she had remembered him, he did not look a tick older.

There was an air around him though, a feeling of calmness? No, not calmness, that wasn’t it. It was the impassivity that Allura had first noticed when they had fought in the library. She had she had dismissed it then, too caught up in her own thoughts and feelings to truly reflect on it. He looked physically the same, but she knew Lotor was truly different from when they first met during in the intergalactic war.   

He had a certain tranquility, she realized. He was a man who had faced his sins.

Allura almost didn’t hear him subtly clear his throat, too deep in her own thoughts. How long had she been in her own head? She felt a soft blush of embarrassment tint her cheeks, but she ignored it and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I understand where you are coming from and how dire the situation would have been at the time, I can see how you were trying to save as many people as you could with the resources you had,” she conceded, placing her hands on the table once again. Maybe she should make some kind of beverage appear like he had done last time with the Altean tea?  “But I can’t justify the bloodshed. That just can’t be justified. It just _can’t._ Can you see that?”

Lotor simply nodded and made a gesture for her to continue.

“I’m also taking into consideration our different upbringings,” she shook her head.  “All my childhood I was taught life is the first and utmost priority, way above any others. Allow me to assume your education within the empire did not hold that principle to such an important level.”

It was going to take a while for her to get over so many lost lives, so many souls that suffered for the utopian world Lotor was striving for.

“ _Victory or death._ ” Lotor concurred mockingly, but Allura didn’t smile.

“That’s why I am unable to answer your question. I do not know what I would have done if I had had to take the decisions that you had to make.” Allura turned her eyes to the garden once again. How alive everything seemed. But was it really alive, when everyone around it was dead? “We reach a stalemate, I believe.”

“Indeed we do.” Lotor sighed, “Ergo we need to do something about it if we don’t want to go back to our starting point. And I guess it’s for the best if I do what I can to clear the air between us?”

“What do you mean?” Inquired Allura, inconspicuously moving her body forward, raising her brows in curiosity. She wished, once again, she had the power to read his mind.

“I mean, I need to apologize,” interjected Lotor, and now it was him looking for her eyes. “I am sorry for taking so many lives.”

Allura’s breath caught in her throat, her heart slightly racing.

“I am sorry for each and everyone who lost their lives during my experiments and I can assure you I paid for each one of them and that most of their souls now live happily in Pollux.” Lotor’s tone was calm and collected, but Allura could see a flicker of _something_ in his eyes. “But I can’t apologize for the entirety of my actions. As I said, I was trying to stop the war, not to cause even more damage. And I did what I thought was the only way out.”

Allura gave him a nod. What else could she do?

“I don’t know if I can accept your apology right now.” Allura decided on keep on telling him the truth as it was, or she would risk even more conflicts between them. “Not so soon.”

Lotor neither reply nor showed any sign of acknowledgment for a long dobosh. The silence uncomfortably stretched between them.

Then he surprised her, once again, with his words.  

“I also have to apologize for something else, I believe. As we are trying to soften the hard edges between us,” confessed Lotor, his voice softening. “Take this as my way of showing my wish for us to bury the hatchet and close doors that have been kept open far too long.”

“I appreciate your good-will. What is it, then, that you want to tell me?”

“I did not tell you about the colonies, back when we were working together. When I was alive,” he finally confessed. “I thought long and hard about telling you the truth. To tell you everything. I am sorry for hiding the fact Coran and you were, in fact, not the last Alteans alive.”

Allura’s eyes watered imperceptibly. She was not expecting such declaration from him, such clear acknowledgment of the beginning of their downfall. He had stepped on fragile ice.

“Well, we technically knew we weren’t the last Alteans,” she admitted, looking up at him and she saw a flash of something sincere spark across his face.

“You’re correct, but that wasn’t what I meant.”

“I know. You should have told me,” she concurred in a whisper so tiny that he could discern only because the room was in complete silence.  “Then why didn’t you?”

“I was scared of many things,” admitted Lotor, looking at something behind her with absent eyes. “That my plans were to be ruined by Haggar finding out about the colonies. Zarkon spent centuries hunting Alteans in his petty revenge against your father. It was an ever-present fear of mine that she would learn of the home I had made for them and kill everyone in there.”

Allura bit her lip, remembering how Honerva used the Altean pilots for her own gain in the name of her son. The colonist were devoted to him, and her manipulation had proved once again that Lotor’s instincts about his parents were not without warrant.

“I also feared the division within the empire,” he continued. “Losing everything I had achieved, especially after I was almost at a place where I could bring true stability and peace to the universe. But mostly I feared-”

“Yes?” prompted Allura.

Lotor closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

“I feared losing you. You see, Princess, I _always_ had my goals clear, the next step to take, who needed to be an ally or not. Yet you…”  Lotor didn’t open his eyes as he continued. “You, Allura, were the most beautiful creature I had ever encountered. Your light shines so brightly I was constantly blinded by it, unsure on the correct way to proceed. And somehow, by some crazy alignment of the universe, you seemed to be interested in me, too.”

Allura’s breathing hitched and her heart beat faster. She felt her whole body heat up and the Emperor in front of her felt so close, she knew she could easily get to him and lose herself in his embrace. But she wasn’t going to do that, of course. She almost missed his next words.

“And the mere thought of losing you when I had only starting to _really get to know you”_ Lotor shook his head in disbelief. “Every moment we spent together I asked myself if I should tell you. But you find out about my secrets, well, I wasn’t ready for the possibility of you hating me. I suppose that didn’t matter. You ended up hating me anyways.”

Allura was utterly speechless in a way she had never been with him. She wanted to reply, to say something, anything, but the words kept dying on her lips.

_I didn’t hate you. I tried to, but I couldn’t._

This was too much, way more than she bargained for. Now, what was she going to do with all this? What did he want to accomplish by telling her? What were his motives? There had to be at least one, Lotor wasn’t the type to just go around conveying his feelings. What was there for him to win?

“If that’s all you wanted to hear, I presume it’s time to part,” Lotor announced, raising from his chair. “I hope this provided you with the answers you wanted so we can have a better relationship. Now if you excuse me-”

“WAIT!” Exclaimed Allura, rising from her chair as well, one arm reaching to where he was standing. “I um.. I… There is something else…”

“Is there?”

_Tell him you want to talk about his death. Tell him you should settle that too. Tell him, take the weight off of your shoulders._

Lotor looked at Allura, silently curious and more relaxed than Allura had ever seen him since she arrived.

Allura felt the weight of her actions pressing hard on her chest, obstructing the words from coming out.

Both of them had somehow made a feeble bridge between them, so fragile it might break if she stepped too hard.

Her biggest sin in life was still haunting her and she was scared of facing it and ruining whatever peace they had achieved.

_I am not ready._

“You said you were punished for what you did, but what does that mean?” Allura let out the words so quickly they nearly cobbled together, her face burning red.

“Ah.” Lotor sounded almost disappointed. He took a moment to think, and sighed before continuing, almost reluctantly “If you’re so keen to know, you can meet me by the main door tomorrow. I had planned a visit to Pollux...have you ever been?”

Allura realized shockingly that she had been so focused on her duties and her struggles with Lotor that she had completely forgotten about visiting the actual city of Pollux.

“I haven’t, actually.”

“Then you may join me if you’d like. I can tell you more about my duties, then.”

Allura pondered for a few ticks. Was it worth it? Would they be able to just move on from the conversation they just had? It all could be yet another ploy, yet Lotor offered more answers to her questions and maybe just another piece of the puzzle for the mess that was their relationship.

There was more to win that to lose, Allura decided.

“Sounds lovely.” Allura agreed, allowing herself to smile at Lotor, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

 

* * *

 

 As Keith walked towards the hangar with the others, a strange kind of euphoria rushed through him.

In the last year, he had spent so much time on Daibazaal with his mother and fellow Blades, that he rarely visited Earth. His duties and schedules were always took priority for him, because, as it turned out, cleaning up a universe after centuries of war wasn’t exactly an easy task. The people who grew to be his family had their own lives going on too, so they mostly kept in contact over a group chat and the occasional video call, but their conversations remained somewhat shallow there.

Right now, though, they were all walking together again, as if they were Paladins once more. Reunited and ready to face the universe.

Keith smiled to himself.

When they entered the giant hangar of the Galaxy Garrison, the cadets and pilots stop whatever they were doing and just stared at the four of them. A reverent silence and curious looks from every direction filled the hall as they made their way to the ship Shiro had assigned them.

“Why are they all staring at us?” Hunk asked nervously, as some of the younger cadets whispered excitedly right next to them. “Did I sit in something?”

“You know if you sat in something we would tell you, Hunk,” Keith insisted and Lance scrunches his nose.

“Depends on how funny it is,” he admitted and Keith elbowed him in the side, good-naturedly. “Ow! I’m kidding!”

“It’s because the Defenders of the Universe getting back together at the place where it all began is kind of a big deal, Hunk,” Pidge chuckled a little.  Although she worked at the Garrison, she apparently revels in the attention, sending smiles and little nods in all directions. “Also they all know this horrible TV show they made about us.”

“That’s still airing?” Keith hissed and now it was Hunk’s turn to laugh as he reluctantly joined Pidge in waving towards the cadets.

“Well, Voltron _did_ save their asses,” Lance added. “They better show some awestruck acknowledgment,”

Even though it was far from the enthusiasm Lance once showed for praise and glamour, Keith could see a little smile on his lips. At least he seemed to feel better today.

“Hey guys, good morning!” Shiro called from across half the hangar. A few other crew members of the Atlas and Garrison staff stood next to him, still preparing their ship for the journey.

“Morning Shiro,” Keith replied as they got closer. “Is everything ready?”

He nodded with a smile and pointed at the elegant, grey spaceship behind him, “The _Promise_ is almost fully loaded and the special equipment should be here any moment.”

“Special equipment?” Pidge and Hunk asked in unison.

Shiro’s smile grew even wider, but before he could explain anything, a familiar voice called through the room, “Takashi!”

Keith turned around and blinked incredulously at the man approaching their group. Shiro turned around abruptly and his face lit up even more as Curtis came closer. He carried something big in his arms and smiled sheepishly as he made his way through the hangar.

How long has it been since he heard someone calling Shiro by his name? How long since he saw his brother smile in such a fond way?

“Here it is, the tech team got it ready just in time!” Curtis said cheerfully and handed Shiro a huge box.

“Thanks, babe.”

And then Shiro blushed.

And Keith just stood there dumbfoundedly and tried very hard to hide the weird mix of happiness and astonishment that was unfolding in his chest. Curtis and Shiro really were dating now. Shiro had a boyfriend.

“So, what’s the special equipment?” Pidge asked, completely unfazed by the conversation and Shiro _blushing_.

“Is it connected to the Narlombian converters we discussed the other day?” Hunk added like there was nothing out of the ordinary to be noticed.

“Well this is new,” Lance noted, motioning to Curtis and Shiro’s mooning over the other. “Uh, right?”

“I...guess?” Keith replied, not knowing what else to say.

Why did everyone already know how serious they were? At least Lance seemed baffled too.

Before Keith could even ask why his brother would keep such essential information from him, Shiro opened the package and handed him two things.

A red suit that was reminiscent of their paladin armor, and an object that looked suspiciously like his old bayard.

 

* * *

 

 “Is that-“

“Woah, that’s incredible!”

“How-?”

 

While the others immediately reacted to their gifts, Lance stared at the blue bayard in his hand blankly. Even though it had been over a year since he last held the red one and even longer since he handed the blue one to Allura.

He shook his head to dismiss the thoughts.

How did they manage to rebuild it without the lions? Did it work the same way? Could it take on the different forms he already unlocked?

And… did he still have what it took to wield the weapon of a paladin?

Lance was pretty sure Pidge and Hunk were already in a deep discussion, but he had zoned out and focussed solely on the familiar feeling of the bayard grip.

He concentrated and set his eyes on a trash can across the hangar. Almost immediately he felt the weapon transform and he held a sniper rifle in his hands. He thought about enemies coming closer and the bayard changed its shape again into a form more similar to an assault rifle. Next, he closed his eyes for a tick and shifted into a more solid stance. When he opened his eyes again, there was a blue broad sword instead of a gun, which he swung around a few times. It felt easy and natural, just like it always had.

He heard a little gasp from behind him and as he lost his focus, the bayard changed back to its original form.

Lance turned around, only to see Keith averting his gaze in a very obvious way (was that a blush on his cheeks?) before the waves of the technical conversation between Pidge and Hunk came crashing down on him again.

“-so that’s how they reverse-engineered the quintessence calibration. Amazing!”

“But your dad didn’t tell you about it? We could’ve helped, I mean, we know the bayards better than anyone else here! We know first-hand that they’re sensing the needs and capabilities of their user through their changing quintessence.”

“Oh please, Hunk, if you think we know anything about quintessence and probability sensors, you clearly have never talked to Slav about this. He studied Altean technology for ages and- oh wow.  In hindsight, I should have known what he was up to.”

“So, _Paladins_ , what do you think?” Shiro interrupted with a wide sincere smile on his face and thankfully finally silenced the tech wizards. “Are we ready for our last big adventure?”

And while everyone nodded and mumbled a thanks towards him, he took a black bayard and matching uniform out of his own box and Lance’s jaw dropped.

“You’re coming too?” Keith asked, easily even more surprised than anyone else.

“Of course, if you recall correctly I was the black paladin too for a bit,” Shiro teased, his smile didn’t waver for a second, “And as I said before, I think coming together again and solving this mystery will help us all in moving on.”

Lance couldn’t help but feel that Shiro was talking about him, even though hearing that Shiro was joining them made him incredibly happy. He took another look at his blue bayard.

Moving on, huh?

“But what about the Atlas?” Hunk asked.

“Yeah,” Pidge chimed in. “And what about the Garrison?”

“Guys, relax. I may be important, but I’m not in charge of everything. I figured this mission was important, so Curtis, Veronica, and Iverson will handle my responsibilities while we’re gone,” he turned to look softly at Curtis. “And I’m fairly confident that they’ll do an excellent job.”

The slight blush on Shiro and Curtis’ cheeks made Lance’s inside squirm and he tried to stow all the memories of his recent blushes away as far as possible.

“Then let’s get going,” Keith interrupted and nodded towards the ship with a sly grin. “The faster we accomplish our mission, the sooner you can get back here, _Takashi_.”

“Well, that’s true,” Curtis snorted and Shiro went bright red, before he motioned them to get changed.

Lance grabbed his new uniform and bayard tighter and took another look at their ship. It clearly was an amalgamation of different technologies and influences, with little bits and pieces hinting at Altean, Galran and Olkarian engineering. A symbol of unity, the proof that they achieved something as Paladins of Voltron.

But as beautiful as this ship was, it was nothing like their lions.

Lance sighed and went to change.

 

* * *

 

 Nighttime had Lotor sprawled on his bed, eyes closed and as he tried to relax amongst his internal chaos.

It had been a stupid idea to invite Allura to Pollux. Stupid and reckless, taking everything in consideration.

As it was, Lotor was not keen on visiting the city of the luminous souls. It was too much, too bright, too cheerful, too _pure_. He constantly felt out of place, a sore spot among every resident, even though he knew perfectly well he was as redeemed as any of them. Besides, going to Pollux meant having the risk of facing some people he didn’t want to see again. He only went when he had to, when his responsibilities required him to go down there and make sure everything was going fine, which it always was.

Now, with Allura tagging along? He’d have to watch his every step to avoid getting trapped in her web yet again. But he couldn’t _avoid_ her anymore. It was uncomfortable and made him spend his days in the miserable Jarre.

A sudden realization came to him.

Maybe asking the princess out with him had been the best decision he could have taken.

Maybe.

Lotor stood up and began pacing around the room, his thoughts coming and going to his past experiments. He had learned that if you expose someone to an unguarded amount of Quintessence at once, chances are they would either go mad or perish.

If he thought of Allura as Quintessence and he spent too much time around her, he would suffer the same consequences. He would end up catching flames, forever pinning from a broken love.

However, if you expose your subjects to _tiny_ amounts of Quintessence, little by little, waiting between doses until they adjusted before increasing that amount for as long as they could take it, they became accustomed and grew stronger while remaining _sane._

If Lotor managed to allow himself small interactions with Allura, open, unguarded interactions, he’d get used to her presence and normality would help him forget any feelings he still harbored for her.

Oh yes, this was the best path he could have taken.

He let out a breath of relief. Nothing like good, reliable science to help find a proper solution.

A soft _huff_ announced Kova’s arrival. Lotor picked up his cat by the under legs and put his pet’s face in front of his, smiling. He then proceeded to rock him slowly from right to left. Kova let out an annoyed _mew._ Lotor let out a good-hearted laugh and cradled Kova in his arms.

“Thank you for your help with the souls today,” Lotor spoke softly, petting Kova’s head. “I didn’t want to step on Jarre.”

Kova purred and rubbed his head against his owner’s chest. Lotor smiled again and with a thought, he was off his day clothes and into his sleeping wear: a silky robe with undergarments underneath and a long belt Kova could play with.

With a content sigh, he  laid on his bed, letting Kova go so he could get comfortable too.

“Let’s get some rest,” Lotor commented and turned off the lights with a snap of his fingers. “Tomorrow it’s going to be a long day.”

And without another thought, he closed his eyes.

* * *

 

“Look at you, _hermanito_! What a handsome Blue Paladin.”

“Stop it, Veronica,” Lance groaned as he made his way to the ship, now dressed in their new set of armor and bayard.

“Oh come on, don’t be modest,” she laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “Blue is totally your color and you’re rocking this look.”

Lance just rolled his eyes in response.

 _Blue really is his color_ , Keith thought and watched the exchange with an amused smile as the McClain siblings passed by, while he was standing next to Shiro and waiting for everyone to get back.

Speaking of familiar family teasing...

“So, when did you plan on telling me about your boyfriend, _Takashi_?” he asked,  remembering a certain question from earlier.

“Keith, that’s-“ he started, and then took a deep breath and pinched his nose. “Technically we’re not _together_ together yet, but..“

“Oh, come on, Shiro,” Keith snorted. “He called you by your first name, who are you trying to fool here?”

“Huh, I don’t know, _Samurai_ , who am _I_ trying to fool?” Shiro shot back promptly with a smug smile and Keith felt himself go beet read.

Keith turned away from him sulkily, changing the topic, “Well, I’m glad you’re happy, Shiro. And I’m also really happy you’re coming with us.”

Shiro sent him a knowing smile, patting is shoulder affectionately.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

* * *

 

 Lotor woke up the next morning feeling well-rested and prepared to do what he had to do.

He rose up from the bed and changed his clothes to those suitable for training and summoned a sword. Back when he first arrived, he had made his own room feature a small, private garden. It was not even close to the marvelous gardens from outside the castle, but he had created it as a place for his daily exercises, not to sit and relax.

One deep breath and he positioned himself, his sword held out in front of him, tip pointing upwards and his knees slightly bended. From there he started moving through different attack and defense forms, slaughtering invisible opponents and dodging from their attacks. Decaphoebes of training made it look like a flawless, flowing dance. He might not use any of it anymore, but it helped him focus and keep active in this too calm afterlife.

Some habits die hard, Lotor supposed.

Around a varga later, he stopped. His breath was heavy from the exercise, his muscles tense and he felt hot, but otherwise he was pretty much clean: he had found out that he didn’t sweat anymore. It had been odd at first, but like most things in this realm he had eventually grown used to it. After some cooling down exercises, he went back inside.

Kova was still sleeping, curled up at the foot of the bed. Lotor pet him absentmindedly as he passed by on his way to the bathroom.

Lotor washed his face, the cold water a nice contrast to his hot skin, and he looked at himself in the mirror.  He usually wore his hair down like he did back when he was alive, but he felt like changing it just a bit for the day, so he put it back into a high ponytail. It would keep it out of his face as he walked.

He was already feeling like It was going to be a long day, but he’d get over it and move on.

Lotor turned around to head back to his room and he took his tablet from his nightstand to check the hour. He realized it was time for him to go and meet Allura, so he’d skip breakfast. Not that it really mattered. After all, eating was a pleasure here, not a necessity.

Bracing himself, he disappeared and reappeared in front of the main doors.

Allura was already there, looking beautiful in a simple green dress and her hair arranged in a perfect bun on top of her head. This was already getting harder than expected.

Allura turned to look at him.

Lotor looked at her.

A couple of ticks went by. Allura kept staring at him, and he at her.

Well, this was quickly getting awkward.

“Good morning, Princess Allura,” Lotor greeted with a head bow, “I hope you slept well.”

That seemed to bring out Allura back because she cleared her throat.

“Good morning to you too. I had a good night,” Allura paused and it seemed like she was debating something in her head before she choose her  next words. “Your hair.”

“Yes?”

“Um.. it looks nice,” she said, motioning to her own head. “When it’s up like that.”

Lotor was speechless from the unexpected compliment.

Wait a tick, was she _blushing_?

No, couldn’t be. It was probably the heat. Or a trick of his eyes.

“Well, thank you.” Lotor replied awkwardly, absentmindedly taking a hand to his hair.

“You’re very welcome.” Allura shrugged like she hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary.

And Lotor might be trying to get over his first love, every action well-calculated. It would probably be better if he kept at least some distance from her, but if anything, he was raised a prince and a gentleman.

So he offered her his arm.

“Shall we?”

Allura took it with the gracefulness of royalty.

“We shall.”

And just like that, walking side to side, they started their expedition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and of course the TL;DR summary of chapter 5: 
> 
> Allura: We need to talk, asap.  
> Lotor: k
> 
> Keith: wakes up next to Lance  
> Keith: O_O  
> Keith: <3  
> Shiro: WAKE UP WE NEED TO GO TO SPACE  
> Lance: almost dies  
> Keith: Are you okay?  
> Lance: I guess so.
> 
> Allura: So about the Alteans…  
> Lotor: LOTOR DID NOTHING WRONG.  
> Allura: ô.o  
> Lotor: Okay, maybe I did. I’m sorry. But still, I tried really hard to not be like my parents.  
> Allura: Yeah, I guess that’s true  
> Lotor: Also I loved you very much.  
> Allura internally: OMG, SAME  
> Allura: So… how was your punishment after death?  
> Lotor: Ugh. Let’s go for a walk tomorrow.
> 
> Paladins: Wow, we’re famous. Probably because we were Paladins.  
> Curtis: It’s dangerous to go alone, take one of these!  
> Paladins: Oh boy, bayards and color coded armor! We’re basically paladins again!  
> Shiro: I’M A PALADIN AGAIN!  
> Curtis and Shiro: <3  
> Keith and Lance: WTF, when did that happen?
> 
> Lotor: is a cat dad and tries very hard to NOT be in love  
> Kova: meow
> 
> Keith: So you got a boyfriend now?  
> Shiro: Yeah, well …  
> Lance: walks by, looks good  
> Keith internally: Man, I wish I had a boyfriend.  
> Keith: Good for you.
> 
> Lotor: is getting ready and decides to make his hair fancy  
> Allura: O___O  
> Allura: Uhm. Looks nice.  
> Lotor: o.o  
> Lotor: Thx.

**Author's Note:**

> Bloopers from when we were planning the chapter:
> 
> Shiro: Go on an adventure!  
> Keith: Why?  
> Shiro: Umm.. because it's an adventure!  
> Coran: Something about Yelmors.  
> Krolia: Do as your brother said.
> 
> Allura: wakes up in heaven as a Goddess  
> Allura: WTF  
> Allura: checks in on Lance  
> Allura: Oh no. 
> 
> Lance: is a sad farmer  
> Keith: Hey, we should go on an adventure!  
> Lance: Why?  
> Keith: Shiro said so.  
> Lance: Meh. I wanna be sad.  
> Allura: sends a cloud  
> Keith: ... Allura would have wanted it!  
> Lance: gasps  
> Keith: Remember our banter?  
> Lance: Yeah. Fine, I'll go.
> 
> Allura: is happy with the results  
> Lotor: is there too  
> Allura: WTF


End file.
